the black rose.

2009-02-14T00:28:00.002+08:00

its time to say goodbye.
bye baby.
much as i love you, nth can be done.
you did not ask me out on my bdae, neither for vday.
thanks for making me cry constantly. (:
appreciate what you have done man.
thanks a lot.

as im saying this, tears are in my eyes.
it aint th first time i let go of someone who matters a lot to me.
i dont know what will happen to us in future.
what happened to make you liddat?
why treat me this way?
D:

GOODBYE.

2008-07-01T21:57:00.004+08:00

I wont update here anymore. Unlink me okays?
THIS BLOG IS OFFICIALLY DEAD.
GOODBYE PEOPLE (:

& YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME,
xoxo

bye bye past memories of th yesterdays.
bye bye love.
bye bye Earthlings !

[edit]

tsk. dont ask me for my new blog url. I will give it to you personally only if I wish to. sorry >.<

wat a nice day(:

2008-06-29T22:50:00.003+08:00

today's a pretty good day for me.
went for svc at Expo.
tdy was a lil tired.
nodded my head off a few times while trying to keep awake.

lunch at popeye's.
i miss th chicken there loadsxzxzxzzz (:
and th fries oso! muacks*
got a lift from Jason down to town area.
xx and I walked to PS to haf a look at Samsung Omnia.
wa. i sad sia. see le but cnt buy.
cos w/o trade in is $598 (special promotional price after additional $100 discount off if buy from the roadshow).
oh man. wat a waste! nvm i shall wait till th value drops.
or maybe compare th prices when iPhone comes out. (:

took bus 106 to westmall.
dozed off in th bus till it reached arnd toh tuck ave.
met up wif th asshole.
his hair really looks nt nice luhs.
i miss th clowny hair! =S
went foodcourt, ate dessert while he ate solid stuff.
chatted a bit.
ohmy. he sae i become fatter le. @#$%^
& he was telling me how his fren saw my pic & tot i was old :(((
idiot. who older sia? !@#$%

went home after tat. used th com.
so bored till i strted browing thru wedding hotels and bridal boutiques -.-
lol. this is called being free during school semester.
cos its E-learning wk! Oh yea! woohoos~
chatting online with some people.
I tricked Rayan tat i had 7 boyf: one same age as me, 5 older than me, and 1 younger than me.
& he really believed me seh. HAHAHAHAA.
jus becos i told him th power of love...has no age limits.
LOL. :DDDD
but its true wat. teehees.
Love has no boundaries (:

this wk is exciting!
hohoho. almost everyday lined up with activities.
if im nt going out, i will be a guai kia and study!
hohoho (:
& I promised Andy to celebrate his freedom next july.
hope i wont forget abt. wat i sae >.< remind me ok, Andy!

alrights..
shall end off here.
cnt wait to see you guys! woots.

two-sided love or one-sided?

2008-06-27T17:05:00.003+08:00

YES! i've completed my essay :D
wrote 872 words.
& I cnt believe I managed to write so much.
okays. Eze and Sean did even mre cn. They wrote 1100++ words. :o
im so glad can finnaly take a break! woohoos.
nxt wk is e-learning wk so no school except fri (:
my plans for th following week..
study, group project discussions, movie with pighead ! visit START centre, meet up with lover ! school, church (:

im tired luhs.
aft CATS didnt go for yoga.
went home instead.
going out for dinner wif xx.
chaos ppl.

my new blog is gonna be ready soon! woohoos~

wait. one more post first (:

2008-06-23T07:55:00.002+08:00

okays. i stayed up the whole night to complete my essay.
& I wrote abt. 1483 words in total! yay :D
i hope i wont fall asleep in lectures later ;P
& i really want to thank Eze for helping me!
cos my printer ran out of ink, so i had to find ppl to help me.
& luckily Eze was gg online to edit his essay too, so he could help me to print.
& mind you, its 18 pages cos had to printout 2 copies.
but he didnt mind helping me. so yea thanks da ge! :DD

oh gosh its 8am.
shld i slp nw? i scared ltr cnt wake up on time for sch!
aiya. maybe i shld just try to rest for a bit.
okays. bye guys. will blog agn this wkend (:
& sorry M, i didnt slp early. lol.

i think i have sleeping problems

2008-06-22T23:13:00.005+08:00

slept at four this morning (meaning sunday morning)
switched off my alarm and went back to slp.
until Jaime called me and ask if I still gg to church.
i was still in a sleepy mode so i told her not gg le, as i tot she wasnt gg. lols.
den arnd nine plus, jason called. i was still slping. so i told him we nt gg church le.
den i cont slping until nearly two, when dumbdumb woke me up.
was kanchiong aft tat luhs. faster dressed up and left house.
around 2 plus then reached. jaime came not long after. (:
cg was good today.
Jason prayed for me.
strength, trusting others, good friendships and relationships, impacting more lives;
sanctifying and dedicating myself to Him was what Jason mentioned.
fellowship was at Alif's.
ordered cheese prata, mushroom prata and milo.
after fellowship, went yew tee mac with Jaime to study.
i still have a few more paragraphs to go. MUST CHIONG EVEN MORE LE !!
and aft this assignment, i still have to do an 800 word book review which is due on 27 june *faints*
& my cough is really getting worse, aft 3-4 days. >.<
might be gg to see a doc tmrw. buay tahan le.
my cough is really affecting me frm doing my essay. darn.

alrights. wont be blogging till i finish my book review. so hopefully by this fri or sat i will blog :D

replies to tags:

Janyssa & Kenn: HAHAHA. might consider it XD
Shawn: okok. no worries, i never misunderstand. (:
Yumei: thanks san jie for coming ! heehees. okays. when my new blog is done i will let you noe. (:

2008-06-21T09:11:00.002+08:00

tmrw will be th last day of my 2 yr contract le.
im still thinking..omnia or iPhone?
Omnia 5mp. gt stylus provided. 8GB internal memory. th price will be arnd 300+ to 400plus bahs.
iPhone gt Safari web browser. damn good to use. price still nt sure but probably almost th same as Omnia i guess.
oh no. which one better ?!
arghhh. ppl tell me which is better luhs. i cnt decide!

those who visit my blog, please tag okays!
thanks ZY for finally revealing urself as one of my readers. woohoos.
thanks Mario for th tag. yes u better tag more in future sweetie. LOL.
thanks those who have been trying to motivate me. LOVES ! (:

2008-06-20T12:38:00.001+08:00

tsk. my new blog will be up on 1st July (:

crap.

2008-06-20T01:16:00.004+08:00

my assignment is lyk nearly 500 words so far. still gt a pretty long way to go luhs. sighs. JIAYOU!
tmrw im gg mac to study overnight. anyone interested?

recently, some people have been chatting wif me online.
& i dont even noe them.
they cn be annoying sometimes man.
keep asking so many questions till it irritates me.
am i being unreasonable?
pls stop pissing me off before i block you.
SHIT.

maybe my words have been harsh.
sorry if ive offended you in anyway.
but this is just th way I am, lyk it or not.
you still hafta accept me for me.
(:

btw, i might not be buying G900 already.
now I'm considering iPhone(already made a reservation), XPERIA X1, SE C905 and Samsung Omnia.
so i guess i wont be changing my phone tat soon yet luhs. HAHAHA.
okays. bye !

jaime was right is saying im lyk half half.
im trying my best alr.
i guess soon luhs.
anyway peeps, i made a vow to God not to get attached until I am 18 and above.
muahahas (:

SOS

2008-06-17T00:45:00.002+08:00

ohmy. my assignment is really shit !! S-H-I-T.
sighs. still got a long long way to go luhs.
oh man. MOTIVATION whr are you ?
sighs.

i tink i cn only push myself to study when im studying wif th idiot.
but idiot's on hols now. so i dont tink he'll be studying much.
RAWRRRRRRRRSSSSS .

i miss 20515|102014|8115.

alrights. i dont think i will be updating till ive completed my Psy Essay.
tmrw gt pm at jw at 7.30. will i be able to wake up on time? i sure hope so.

lots on my plate to handle.

2008-06-16T04:19:00.004+08:00

so quickly, its alr th midst of June. soon, a new mth will come agn.
and my new blog would be launched by then. [hopefully lahs].
& tat's if i manage to get my work done.
as for those who knows mymelody de blog, it will somehow be lyk a priv. blog.
you can still go there. i'll post ovr there occasionally (:
those hu dont know my address, haha. it's okays.
dont go read cn le lors XD
not many ppl noe mymelody de blog anyways. hohoho :D

later in th afternoon i'll be meeting up wif some of my classmates to study.
im gonna at least get half of my psy essay done. & ask for assistance when it comes to citations. im terribly noob at tat manzxzxzxz. motivate me to study ppl!!!

& my lib. books are due real soon.
havent finished reading them yet :x
sighs.

my mood hasnt been good of late.
jus talked to pighead earlier on abt some problems.
a major one is religion.
we'll just take a step at a time alrights...
try to do watever we can to work things out. hees.

hols are gonna be over soon. oh man.
no more late nights. RAWRRRRSS.

okays ! shall end off here.
& youknowyouloveme, xoxo.

thanks jaime for th advice (:

[edit] okays. apparently I cant find my new boyf.
tink i misplaced it somewhere at BPP yst. wasted my parent's money. sry ):
but..went to buy another similar one tdy aft dinner wif frens. lols.

went starbucks to study tdy. nt very productive luhs.
i didnt plan out wat to write..so just type on th spot.
oh mans. i dno if i'll be able to go out for th rest of this wk le.
i mean, i hafta finish my assignment first right? shucks.
i'll still go for prayer session on wed and thurs.
hafta do comsvc work with TOUCH comsvc centre on fri.

aft studying, went Raffles city's Soup Spoon for dinner wif eze, tarci and crystal.
we crapped a lot and laughed luhs.
tarci ordered beef set, eze ordered mushroom set, crystal ordered roasted pumpkin and I ordered mushroom bread bowl.
i was nearly going to finish up every bit of my meal until i discovered a hair inside. *gulps.
th waiter came ovr. and observed th hair. & u noe wat he told me?
"oh. it's mushroom hair. it's breakable"
I was laughing at his response. of cos hair is breakable luhs.
human hair oso wat right ?
so if there was a hair in crystal's means it's pumpkin hair isit?
and if beef soup gt hair inside is beef fur/hair uhs? LMAO.
anw, i tink th waiter gave a crap ans luhs.
aft eating we went off.

on th bus i checked my wallet...realised i didnt pay for my dinner at Soup Spoon at all. ohmy. feel a bit guilty.
slept all the way till I reached my stop & just woke up suddenly.
couldnt get down cos th bus was lyk gonna leave th stop alr.
so i alighted at th nxt stop and walked back to bpp tat side.
bought jacket den came hm.

i miss eating sakae sushi wif th idiot.
sighs.
unpredictable.

moodswings

2008-06-15T01:58:00.006+08:00

My day was OK.
gt high several times bah.
thanks Donny for coming.

dont really have mood to blog.
but i feel lyk blogging.
anyways, i tink im screwed luhs.
i havent started on my assignments yet.
not much time left to complete oso.
abt. a wk or so is left for th Psy assignment.
how am I gonna write a 1500 word essay ?
not by might, not by power but th S.O.G. i guess.

might be gg wrpf tmr.
kinda having second thoughts agn.
tmrw's father's day.
Happy Father's Day to all th fathers.
okays. i sound a bit dead nw.
im tired luhs.
& i spoke to idiot jus nw.
kinda emo on and off aft tat n during our convo.
thanks to his insensitivity, he didnt noe i was emo-ing (:

so what if there are many stars in th sky
when th two of your are not watching th same sky tgt.

sucks. simply sucky. freaking shitty.
th way circumstances turn out to be.
im still struggling.
will i ever be free one day ?

[edit] bought a purple jacket from I.P. Zone tdy.
freaking cheap luhs. haha :D
I LOVE PURPLE JACKETS *screams*

i seriously dont feel like doing my assignments luhs.
oh gosh. i need ppl's motivation :x HELPPP !!!

[edit] just when my impression of you has become better, I'm wrong.
okays. so wat if you leave me out? no big deal luhs.
but if you dont want to feel left out of things nxt time, pls dont leave others out.
i wont ever try to leave you out bahs. cos im such a nice person (:
th reason y i left my previous cg was becos of you.
and nw, we're no longer in th same cg but it seems lyk u still need to change.
perhaps you never treated me as a part of your.
but dont forget who came into th cg first.
we were all tgt den. wat abt you? do you accept others?
do you tend to be exclusive rather than inclusive?
i hope its nt becos my friendship wif him is stronger dan urs tats y u liddat.
sorry if my words are very straightforward. i hate beating arnd bushes luhs.
oh. maybe you dont like me, but its ok.
if youve ever felt i dont lyk u, im sry. cos th way u handle r/s wif ur frens is diff. frm mine.

it's becos of our diff. which makes you special. Th miracle I want may not even come but I will not stop praying for you.

everyone is given a gift, its whether you use it or let it go to waste.

2008-06-14T03:17:00.003+08:00

G-R-EA-T !
wahahas. i love this camp.
tho i keep PMS-ing every nw and then.
zzz.
God is really gd. he answers prayers. [evidence that he is real] cos he did answer mine!
really wanna thank Jaime for coming along for this camp, I really hope it's a wonderful and eye-opening experience for her. Rmb tat God loves you ! & so do I. lols.
if she didnt come then maybe i will feel more left out bahs.
thankfully i haf dumbdumb, yaya and a few others to tok to (: hees.
God's presence was really strong these few days.
could sense his love for me. I'm sure many could feel him too =)

its a pity Gary didnt go cos im sure he would have enjoyed himself.
I badly wanted Quacky and Nick to come too.
but its ok. I believe there will be more chances in th future! (:

tmrw is Father's Day Celebration.
True Worshippers are coming also. nice.
lols. okays. i shall stop crapping here.
BYE!

BENDAN.
th phrase da shi teng, ma shi ai isnt true,
at least nt for assholes lyk you .
cos da is abusing so cnt really sae tat is teng.
no one would want someone hu is violent in nature right.
scolding sometimes is a form of love, and also care i guess.
use ur heart to love.

new phones .

2008-06-10T20:53:00.004+08:00

im still deciding on which phone to get >.<

G900, X1 or iPhone.

at first considered G700 but it didnt haf wi-fi at all. so no point.

of cos, all phones haf their pros and cons la.

this time round i'm targeting touch screen phones.

why I want G900:

it's a nice red ! (i'll love it if gt purple though)

& its 99g, lighter dan iPhone.

plus, its a 5MP phone :D

talk time up

however, there is no privacy lock for messages.

but if i hafta rate it out of 10, I'll say it's 8/10 8)

why I want X1 (Xperia):

cos it looks a little like iPhone 8)

and the keypad's cool luhs.

view the trailer http://www.sonyericsson.com/x1/default.aspx?cc=gb&lc=en">HERE !

oso 8/10

Lastly, is th iPhone!

why I want it:

-has many functions. uber cool .

-can read many languages.

-th 16GB one is available in two colours, white or black. th white is nice !

-th price has been reduced. so its less expensive.

however, i dont think there is privacy lock for messages too. & its heavier dan th two other fones. & i dont think u can do video calls wif this phone either. cos th camera's located at th back.

ahh wells. i cant decide which phone to get. *sighs*

if i get iPhone, subscription will be under Singtel. but still nt sure when it'll be out :x

if i get G900, would probably be under Starhub.

if th price of G90o drops even more, i might be buying that le.

we shall see. lols.

anw, today i woke up at 2pm. lols.

was damn tired. slept for nearly 12 hrs. so shuang :D

met ange late tdy. i'm sry for waking up late ! went borders to buy our books for famres book review, den went starbucks to pass daddytarci his membership card. went Zara to take a look.

den walked to Fep to find ange's friend's present.

aft she bought it, i bought bbt den we headed home.

took 700. went library to borrow bks. [i still havent find bks for my Psycho assignment]

den went mini toons to buy socks for my sports shoes.

den went to enquire at hp shops.

aft tat went Watsons to buy body soap.

den bought sushi. I still prefer Ichiban's !

headed home aft tat..

im gg for camp tmr.

will be back on th same day tat mum cums back frm Taiwan! wahahaha.

alrights, gonna go pack my bag le. bye bye!

miss me alrights? LOVES (:

i'm back frm class chalet !

2008-06-09T14:48:00.004+08:00

tired manxzxz.
slept arnd 5 plus. woke up at 7 plus.
last nite drank a lil bit of vodka.
nvr get drunk luhs. haha :D
played water bombs at th chalet.
den had dinner at foodcourt.
aft tat went back to chalet. chat, walk arnd for a bit.
managed to do some catching up wif my lovelies (:
wahaha. i miss them so much cn.
was really happy to see them luhs.
we chatted abt. sch, friendship, people & etc.
& when it comes to supporting which person, I'll side wif my lover.
cos she was never in th wrong.
so ____shld stop making life miserable for her.
its quite saddening to see wat has happened. *sighs*
i dont expect much anymore i guess.
shldnt haf high hopes on ppl, in case they disappoint you.
so...two words- Move on.

asshole called me during his lesson.
and th cher was droning away in th background.
spastic. pay attn luhs! zzz.

alrights. i shall end here.
gotta go practise guitar! bye.

ive bought my sandals !

2008-06-06T21:02:00.003+08:00

yay! finally bought my sandals. Its Havarina.
had a hard time deciding btwn gold or white. chose gold in th end.
waited damn long for 960.
th bus was packed luhs. luckily i managed to get on th bus.
towards BPCC, th bus sort of jerked n a malay girl standing beside me stepped on my legs.
wa piang it was so damn pain luhs. tot she was gonna crush my bones wif her heels >.<

brief summary of my day...
slept at 5am in th morning, as I was doing modifications to my new blog.
i cnt add a tagboard ovr dere..blahs. thank God there's a link to write Comments.
so nxt time instead of using tagboard I'll be using comments (:
mum left hse at 5 plus. said goodbye to her den abt. 15 or 20 mins ltr i went to slp alr.
Mum's gone to Taiwan for a wk. will miss her luhs. Hope she has fun wif her colleagues and can find time to shop. & hopefully i'll be able to get a hoodie when she returns :D
woke up at 12 plus. left hse arnd 2 plus for prayer meeting.
reached at 3. had an awesome time man. wat a wonderful feeling. lols.
ended arnd close to 5. went Chinatown point's mac for fellowship.
den bought my sandals at bugis aft tat.

sometimes i still feel lonely tho i haf God by my side.
i still do think abt. you..
& i just want you to know that you've been missed.
(:

pics do th talk okays ? (:

2008-06-05T22:41:00.013+08:00

i wore blue contacts tdy! heees. th colour seemed quite natural unlike th other contact lenses.

and i looked slightly emo in my facial appearance tdy. hahas.

we went swensens to eat. gt super high dere luhs.

food costs 119+ in total. 7% GST and Svc charge was 21+ ! so our bill went up to 141+ omgosh. we're nvr eating there agn :x

anyways. why we went Swensens..to celebrate Eze's successful application to go Yunnan.
but er ge, shldnt u be th one treating us instead of making us pay for our own food? lawls.

two guys came and sell us badges at a dollar each per badge. so we all chose to buy th same badge which says: " Are you sane? NO ! " hahaha. one big family carrying th same badges arnd..

aft eating, went to walk arnd. went Heeren, Centrepoint, Wheelock place and Far East Plaza.
bought a shoe frm far east. for my future formal presentations. damn cheap. haha. san jie was kind enuf to pei me shop arnd..thanks! :D

went back to B.O.W. [th co. whr i went for a 2-hr training job]

business there nt very gd. i jus hope things will strt to get better for them!

anyways. tat's pretty much abt. my day luhs.

&& went to Tagged jus nw.

re-read a msg tat someone sent me. damn amusing. LOLs.

click to enlarge (:

it jus shows us how some people are so desperate to be in a r/s.

go bang th walls luhs..

bye !

2008-06-05T03:14:00.003+08:00

i noe time after time i haf been changing blogskins and blog addy and email addy.
but...i might be changing to either wordpress, live journal or xanga.
wordpress de must subscribe for upgrade if nt cnt change into attractive layout.
livejournal de i haf probs changing my skin to whatever i want. dangg.
or should i create a xanga instead?
ah well. anyways. ive decided to use none of these. LOL.

eh. will stop updating in this blog pretty soon.
when its th last day i'll post in here den i'll let ur noe.
thanks for those hu haf been loyal readers of my blog :D
you go girl, or boy. whoever you are luhs. thanks. and i jus hope u will tag at my blog if u read.
(:

i still........
thanks for giving me.......

ironic how someone u used to lyk will be lyk this.

2008-06-05T01:05:00.004+08:00

im nt gonna let you affect me animre.
yea, i agree its jus sad..
but im sry to sae i dont associate wif ppl hu haf high regards for themselves (:
so if you want me to treat you like a stranger, be my guest.

thanks Shalini.
thanks Quacky.

my life has really been dry.
dno wats happening to me nowadays =x
i cnt wait for th camp ! really believe my breakthrough is near.

im gonna collect my testi frm cckss tmr.
drats. i tink im one of th last few peeps hu hasnt collected luhs.
shalini, u gd! =x
hahas. aft tat maybe heading down to sch to get th bk frm Julian..
or shld i jus buy my own ? oh wells..
cnt wait for tmr! Swensens hear i come....
wahahahas. i cn hear th ice-creams calling me already ;DDD

im in a bitching mode

2008-06-04T00:03:00.004+08:00

th only thing tat pissed me off tdy..was YOU.
you think so highly of urself.
so why shld i study wif you?
go find ur friends la..they are mre worthy to study wif u rite.
FCK. my common test is ovr alr. study wat sia?
oh pls. stop asking me to study wif u only when u haf no one to turn to.
you are seriously damn shit. in my eyes, you are so so small.
ive long ago lose hope in you. you seem lyk a no-life person to me.
so wat if u tink ure better dan others cos u're in some JC?
hello. there are other ppl hu are in better schools dan u ok.
stop looking down on others.
i tell u first, wif th score u get, u cnt even get into PCS. damn.
if u so smart, go SA or RJ luhs. y must go this jc. its nt one of th top few wat.
&u keep saeing u stress. hu doesnt feel stressed?
even i feel stressed sometimes in my course too.
and you think poly ppl face a bit of stress cnt take it le.
you so gd rite. so stop complaining tat you're stress.
do something abt ur pride. u haf too much ego alr.
i hope u change before ur frens get pissed off wif u too.
& i noe u're jealous of someone.. too bad for you.
ASD, yes you have it. go bang th walls and screw your balls.

my day was basically quite slack.
woke up during lunch time. but didnt eat solid meal. snacked a lot.
den read book. den use com.
evening went jogging wif mum. th park has two monkeys!
came back and eat dinner. den use com agn.
den went out to meet_____. hahas.
this time i wasnt xin tia. 8)
his fren came along. this time diff. fren. mre shuai and taller. hahas.
anyways. th idiot's purpose for cuming was to let me see his new hair. -_-
yes. such an idiot. cuming jus to show me his new hair. and ask if nice or nt. walao.
i felt lyk smacking him. nearly did wif a helmet. or did i? oops :x hahas.
and he said he dunno y he called me to come find me.
but i tink i noe y. MUAHAHAHAS ;D
my listening ear, th one hu gives me lame crap and makes me reply provocatively.
he listened to me tok abt________
den he ask: th one ask u study wif is boy or girl?
den i sae: boy luhs.
he tot i was toking abt a girl when all along i sae HE, nt she. haha. such an idiot.
den i told him tt boy was th one hu gave me a _____.
den he sae: wa so gd uhs. he give you___ but i nvr give you anything lehs. [hehe. jealous huh]
den i sae: yea lors. never mind la. you everytime never give ppl anything de.
den he sae: whr gt. i give you my xxxxx lehs.
hahahas. wat he sae was sweet luhs. i'll nvr forget de. hees ;DD
his visit nvr failed to cheer me up.
couldnt help smiling to myself aft tat. hahas.
&becos of wat u said, i dont feel as insecure as i used to.
& perhaps u were able to sense tat I xn so u came?
i noe you do luhs. if nt y did u wanna cum?

im feeling much better nw. wahahahas.
ltr having consultation wif Ms. Ann.
still havent tot of wat to ask her yet. ahhas.
aft tat gt prize presentation.
im getting a medal for winning th telematch.
eh pighead, i proved u wrong. u sae HMS wont win but we won lehs.
wahahahas. you stupid asshole. idiot ! XP

tired.happy.upset.

2008-06-02T23:48:00.003+08:00

Common test is over! wahahahahas.
was quite okay i guess.
For comsvc i couldnt rmb 1 of th main principles of UNCRC and i didnt study th part on whr to retrieve resources for comsvc so jus sui bian write nors.
aft lunch break was writcom test. last two questions were challenging.
so i just anyhow write down th ans. cos idk if mine was correct or nt.
aft sch went AMKhub to watch Prince Caspian.
it's nice luhs. must watch!
woots. i love my husband, Peter.
HE'S MINE :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
so cute. wahahahas. Caspian th tenth wasnt too bad as well.
but I still love Peter mre ;D
cried at th ending cos i felt it was a bit sad luhs.
th two of them lyk each other but cnt be tgt. *sighs*

had dinner wif some of my classmates aft tat @ Banquet.
ive gt a new family[PCS] & I LOVE THEM lotsxzxzxzxzxz
really nice to be wif and cn laugh n crap. hahahahas (:
i feel most like myself whenever im wif them.
at least i am free to sae wat i want, w/o worries of offending them ^^
ive two bros, zy and eze. naiimah mummy, tarci daddy, ange cousin.

i'm so glad its a new mth.
mistakes frm th previous mth will be put behind
& its all these mistakes which helps us grow to become stronger and mre refined.
blahblahs.
BIG BANG camp is coming up soon. its getting kinda exciting (:

oh dear. when i came back hm i was pretty tired.
so didnt keep to th 1-hr prayer thing.
i'm gonna compensate it back ovr this four days.
God pls give me mre discipline to pray!

&yes. i cn sae my hols haf strted !
except i hafta go back to sch for consultation on wed. and there's prize-giving presentation too.
my first time winning a medal frm NP. exciting! ;D

soon im gonna get strted on my assignments.
let me jus slack for a few mre days..

im kinda upset wif you.
yes. you. dont keep telling me u will try.
when most of th time try means "im nt gonna do it"
but u sae try for th sake of saying so tat u wont hafta feel bad if u dont do it.
shit you luhs. trying doesnt mean u cn get away just liddat.
so many times. i told myself its best to leave you be.
but. i still keep putting in effort. becos im hoping for a breakthru in ur life.
when will u strt getting serious and truly seat down to study?
do i hafta make u study wif me den u will study?
i cnt be there all th time to make sure u do ur own part of studying.
but its becos i care for you, which is y i always go beyond wat others would do.
dont you see hw many times ive sacrificed my own time?
maybe i shldnt even be in ur life. but i wanna be in ur life. helping u thru.
when shld i stop caring? perhaps long ago. but i wont stop caring...

as for you, i cnt do much for you.
when i try to help you by offering to study wif you,
u tink it might nt work out.
but i believe in cn be done. if u haf enuf determinance.
be strong. dont let th distractions arnd u affect ur studies.

cos nth matters when u're here wif me.

2008-05-31T02:49:00.004+08:00

Dear God, pls help me to love those i feel i cnt love.
increase my capacity to go beyond what i can do now.
may your favour and strength be upon me.
Thank you for always being there for me. (:

visible love open invisible hearts.
will i be able to touch more hearts with th love of Christ?

wat position or place do i haf in ur life?
sometimes i really wonder if u mean wat u sae.
hw cn i be convinced?
when im having mixed feelings...

so many uncertainties lie ahead of me.
sooner or later i hafta strt serving.
and perhaps rise up one day.
but..i dont have th confidence.
i feel i cnt do it. or isit i dont want to do it?
sighs.

im tired.

2008-05-29T22:58:00.005+08:00

tired.
these past few days haf been slping for abt. 4-5 hrs.
cos of presentation preparations etc.
i tink im falling sick. but i hope nt.
cos my throat is strting to feel sore, my nose blocked den at times gt running nose.

yst, com's svc class was interesting.
cher tried to do hypnotherapy on us. lols.
also, we had to write positive statements about our classmates.
didnt noe wat to write abt. Joel =x so i jus crapped luhs.
& for you-noe-hu as well.
cos i dont wanna force myself to sae things which arent true.
my classmates wrote abt. me being cheerful, laugh a lot, straight forward, sociable, outgoing, funny, clown etc.
jianyang's comment was cute luhs. sae wanna be my fren. LOL.
aft sch went sch lib to study.
once agn, we overused th room. hahaha.
supposed to exit at 2 but we stayed dere till arnd 4.20+
so didnt meet up wif my laughing bags at th end ):
ahh wells. hopefully there's a nxt time.
QUACKY get well soon :D

accompanied ken to Wisma aft tat to Sony's service counter.
but he's only gonna fix it nxt wk aft th common test ends.
& he's giving a shitty excuse nt to do hmwk cos his speakers no sound so he cnt study w/o music. -.-
anyways, went down to PS aft tat.
ken was acting strange n weird luhs. i wont mention it here. lols.

watched Indiana Jones wif cg members.
it was funny and i tio shocked a few times too.
i wanna watch summore movies!
nxt mon aft CT probably watching as a class outing. YAY!

tdy was really hiong luhs.
had 2 presentations. one was ITABS and th other was INTPSY.
was quite nervous during ITABS. so didnt really present well.
but INTPSY presentation was way much better..i wasnt as nervous as th first round.
hopefully i'll improve mre and mre agn ^^
other grps were quite ok bahs. some nervous, some never maintain eye contact
and siow's body language was wrong luhs. and sean kept moving abt.. etc.

im strting to love my class even mre.
most of them are really nice and fun-loving ppl.
ever so spontaneous and crazy lyk me. HAHAHA.
you guys rock. i love you! (:

wat is ur prob man?

2008-05-28T01:32:00.002+08:00

okay seriously.
im getting pissed of by some random person i didnt noe.
wonder wat prob she has wif W.
and this girl (nt W) smokes, talks bad abt. W on her blog etc.
you're a sucker manzxzxz. so bo liao until tok abt. other ppl isit? kns.
c'mon, u're jus jealous of th happy r/s she has wif her boyf rite? admit it luhs.
u're damn childish pls. grow up for gdness sake!

ive barely strted studying for comsvc.
& ive gt so many things piled up to do!
study comsvc, read + revise thru writcom, make psycho notes, send Ziyang th email on Elderly care n svc etc, read my GG book, practise Psycho presentation skills...blahblahs.

screwed up our presentation practise for psycho.
kept laughing non-stop. as if my insides contained laughing gas.
i jus hope tat i wont screw my grp's presentation this thurs. sighs.
had to record our voices for th CCF video.
& i gt high jus recording my cute *coughs* voice.
& i strted singing th red blood cell song wif a self-composed tune.
which made eze went ballastic. hahaha. he strted singing it too :D
&& Naiimah and I wore similar colour top to sch tdy. wahahas. turqoise rocks. [but i still love purple th most(: ]

met xx and fion aft sch at atrium.
had pm dere for abt. 20-30 mins
aft tat th rain stopped. so we went offto westmall for dinner.
ate KFC's Fish Zinger. nt bad bahs..
den went to walk arnd aft tat for a while.
wat shld i wear for formal presentation lehs? someone gif me suggestion!

its 1.43am, wednesday. lesson's frm 10-12.
aft tat gonna study wif classmates! for abt. an hr+
den probably gg to meet up wif my laughing bags ;DD
i miss them loads. cos we're in diff. schools nw so we dont get to meet up often.
im gonna chiong in studying tmr! JIAYOU PEEPS. gogogo!

my heart aches...

2008-05-26T00:17:00.005+08:00

i feel a burden for you.
when i pray, somehow i feel close to tears.
i miss th past you. and i wish things were hw it used to be.
i miss you- th one hu never failed to make me smile n cheer me up.
you. th one hu i felt comfortable wif.
you. th one i often shared my probs wif.
but nw.. whr are you? i cnt seem to find you...

went for hillsongs concert last nite.
managed to snap a few shots. but a bit blur so i wont post it up here.
thanks Quacky and quacky's friend for coming along (:
its been quite a while since i last saw Quacky.
could sense tat dere was sumthing diff. abt. him alr.
oh yea. and i was damn pissed off by Sebastian's fren cos she last min. didnt turn up for th concert. & i wasted 20 bucks for 4 tix jus liddat. gone.
but anyway th concert was gd. God's presence was strong during Hosanna.
and they sang songs like Break free, my future decided, the time has come, mighty to save, savior king, one way, tell th world, all I need is you(chorus) etc.
didnt pay attn to Pst. Lim's sermon. nt used to his style of preaching bahs.
i miss rui an! my fone no batt so couldnt contact him >.<
caught th last train hm. reached hm arnd midnight.
...

managed to wake up tdy. hees.
train-ed down to expo.
svc was gd. went for altar call tho it's for non CGLs and CoGLs.
Dan said I was lucky tat some church elder or sumthing de wife laid hands on me.
blahblahs.
when i went back to my seat during worship, i was shaking on th inside.
and i knew tat once ag, God's anointing was back in me agn. it was amazing!
ate lunch at mac. den went for cg. sermon was on hearing God's voice.
aft cg went near blk 372 de coffeeshop for fellowship.
chatted until abt. 5 plus. th rest went back.
den i went westmall to study. aft a while, th asshole met up wif me.
so aft tat i relocated myself to th mac.
bought double choco frm McCafe. its nice.
if only they sell banana choco den gd le. sighs.
downloaded ppt. notes for psycho. and also made chapter notes.
bought Chicken pizza frm pasar malam on my way hm ^^
ate dinner, showered den went to meet asshole at my hse carpark.
asshole's fren came along too.
so we jus sat dere n chat. i didnt tok much.
cos they were chatting mre.
den when i left tat time, felt sad luhs.
nowadays everytime we meet up i keep wondering if we will ever see each other agn..

sometimes i feel a bit xin tia when i think abt you.
maybe becos... well. idk luhs.
sometimes i just wish i will forget all th memories i once had.
th good ones and bad ones all erase, and only ppl i love will remain in my mind.
so th rest will become complete strangers.
den perhaps i will feel less sad bahs.
i wish my wish will come true...
-------------------------------------------------------------------
26 May.
was late in meeting my grp for discussion.
cos i didnt check my email last nite :x
anyway. lectures were OK for tdy.
comsvc ended an hr earlier. so we had longer lunch break :D
ate Tako balls and strawberry smoothie.
went OurSpace aft tat for a while.
aft tat went for Famres lecture. snacked in class. hahaha.
aft tat was Psy lecture. Dr. Julliard (or isit Juliet) taught tdy.
she damn fast cn. nt used to th speed. i still prefer Mr. Tan (:
aft sch, went bpp. went lib to borrow bks! wahahahas.
borrowed 2 bks on comsvc/social work etc.
hopefully it'll help me to be mre prepared for Common Test nxt wk!
oh yes. GG's final book is out at last! I LOVE GG! :DD
in case any dumbos dont noe wat GG is, it means gossip girls. LOL.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
gonna strt studying for my common tests alr. cya!

here comes another quiz. tagged by Marvin -.-

2008-05-24T12:13:00.002+08:00

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post.
Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. What's the thing that u wanna do now?
study! anyone wanna be a nerd wif me? :]

2. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?
hahaha. around th world!

3. What's your favorite thing to do?
watch online dramas (:

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?
nt really. vecos th things you buy are materialistic things. you wont be able to take them to heaven ._.

5. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
hmms. settle down by ten yrs time bahs

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
nope. no money den hw to buy food/water?

7. What's the most regretful thing that you've done before?
many past regrets but life just have to go on.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
buy a car, buy a condo apartment, put in th bank.

9. What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you recently?
haha. cnt rmb if gt a nt :x

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
He is there for others whenever you need someone to tok to, he is a good listener, he is open so cn connect wif ppl well.

11. What makes you happy?
seeing th ppl i love being happy

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
ppl wif "the queen" attitude.

13. Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
this qn seems familiar..working, driving a car and perhaps married? lols.

14. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
to be able to fly in th sky. but what I want nw is supernatural power.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
my r/s wif Him.

16. What do you do when you're alone?
contemplate ovr things.

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
th lack of self-confidence bahs.

18. If you could turn back time, which period would you like to return to?
P6! work harder and get into my dream sch or perhaps somewhere even better dan tat.

19. What would you do if somebody asks for your number?
see hu he/she is first. i dont just give to strangers. becos i'll end up making them pissed off. hahaha ;DD

20. What do you think will happen in two year's time?
ohh..hard to guess. things tat are going to happen will naturally happen.

people being tagged: -Shiya
-Janyssa
-Jiahui
-Kuofeng
-Brenda
-Jaime
-Carmen
-Roger

2008-05-24T02:01:00.002+08:00

A) people who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & NO CHANGING OF QUESTION. ANSWER IT TRULY
.B) tag people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. these people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. continue this game by sending it to other people.

#1 if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
- idk. angry and upset? i'll talk thru things.

#2 if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
- i wont sae it. hees.

#3 what will your dream wedding be like?
- hahaha. some beach and church wedding!

#4 are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
- a bit bahs.

#5 what's your ideal lover like?
- someone who understands me, share common interests, caring, able to commit..blahs.

#6 which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
- 50-50 bahs. loving someone and being loved is diff.

#7 how long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?
- cnt estimate de. it depends on how deep my love for this person is.

#8 if the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
- of cos hafta gif up le. wat else cn i do?

#9 is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
- somehow yes.

#10 is being tagged fun?
- tagboard yes

#11 how do you see yourself in ten years time?
- hmms. working and driving my own car! wahahahas.

#12 who are currently the most important people to you?
- God, family, Dear friends...

#13 what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
-gt 2 ppl lehs. i shall sae th one hu tagged me first bahs(yaya).
i tink she likes to hide her feelings away from others..open up mre luhs!

#14 would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
- idk. it doesnt matter as long as its God's plan for me (:

#15 what's the first thing you do every morning?
- switch off th alarm and go back to slp for a few mins.

#16 would you give your all in a relationship?
- definitely, if im certain we cn last long.

#17 if you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
- nt sure. perhaps th one mre suitable for me.

#18 what type of friends do you like?
- hmms..ppl i cn share my probs wif, ppl i feel at ease toking to. basically, my beloved ones (:

#19 what type of friends do you dislike?
- ppl wif AP and ASD. i dont lyk ppl to be domineering ovr others as well.

#20 how many people you think they fall in love with you now?
-hmms. nt sure. go ask them lors. MUAHAHAAS

tagged by : SHIYA & Janyssa
the following eight, do this quiz too! :P
- JP
- Jaime
- Carmen
- Bernard
- Naiimah
- Tzyiian
- Kuo Feng
- Marvin

101th post (:

2008-05-23T01:15:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA.
these past 2 days ive been watching Tokyo Juliet.
cn get to see my charming Wu Zun! *fa hua chi* XD
ive completed most of th hmwk for E-learning.
except writcom's editing of Citations & ITABS Environmental Poster Designing Competition & writeup on Chp. 10's privacy and security.
seriously i cnt be bothered doing these 3 pieces of work .
but i noe in th end i'll jus end up finishing my hmwk lyk a gd lil girl. LOLs.
y? becos i guess its th hardworking streak in me tat propels me forward when im too lazy.
okay whatever.
*sighs.
tmr there's CATS presentation. I just hope everything will go well manxzxzxz.
and there's yoga! cn slp in class.
evening? i'll see how first.. tmr den cn cfm. haa.
had prayer meeting tdy @ Riverwalk.
agn, i felt th temptation to watch videos instead of gg for pm.
but when i went for pm tdy, I felt tat i must keep praying n praying becos my breakthru is coming. I sense tat He is telling me this. so i must keep hanging on there.
met shuni aft tat.
we took pics! haha. nt a lot but still, i miss cam-whoring days wif her! shall upload soon (:
went hongkong cafe to eat, & chatted a bit here and there..
she noes abt it alr. but well, im relief she didnt sae any negative stuffs at all. :]
shopped a bit. we bought bags! haha. cheappp cn? 10 bucks for mine and 15 bucks for hers.
saw a nice dress. was tempting n it was only 15 bucks. but cnt try so i didnt buy le =\
oh wells. on my way hm on th bus, there was a couple seating near me.
n th guy keep looking my way. even when i alighted frm th bus & went th pasar malam nearby my hse to buy muachee he oso went to buy. lyk as if they following me or something.
i really wonder if they haf any prob wif me or nt =x who cares anyway. lol.

when chatted wif pighead tat day on th fone,
his fren was wif him...& he told abt his prob.
his gf love him but somehow he has no feelings for her.
& he wan to breakup wif her.
but surely th girl will be heart broken and cry buckets right?
so wat cn he do.
th first thing i said was: "I dont understand you guys. If your dont like a girl, why bother getting into a r/s with her? It's pointless luhs. what for get into a r/s if you dont truly like this person?"
& i know one-sided love wont be able to last long.
pighead told him: " usually in r/s when ppl tink they will breakup fast, they usually last longer dan they tink. & those tat think they will last long will normally break up faster".
so things happen totally opp. frm wat you actually think it will?
i cnt sae its true to his statement becos couples who have been tgt for a long time will be able to last longer dan other couples. not necessarily according to wat you think, but it depends on th amt. of effort u put into th r/s. th amt of commitment u cn gif. how strong/deep ur MUTUAL love is.
tat's wat i feel luhs.
for me, i wont get into a r/s if i dont love th person. & my boyf must also love me. so it has to be a two-way thing. communication is also v. impt if u want things betwn u and ur boyf to workout!

am I evil?

2008-05-21T01:29:00.002+08:00

So quickly, more than a month has passed since the starting of school. I have started getting accustomed to life in NP. Sometimes, I find lectures/tutorials boring but it depends on how my mindset is- whether I like the lecturer and his/her style of teaching. Different lecturers carry out their lessons at different paces so we, as students have to adapt to the paces we are taught at. I have also come to realise that Poly life also includes independent reading up on your own when all along, I thought that it is sufficient to learn what the teacher has taught.
I found ITABS to be stressful partly because of the EXCEL work. It drove me nuts doing! The instructions were not clear and I think I did some wrongly. I still dont see how ITABS is linked to Psychology.
Things have changed since Mr. Reuben has left, ITABS lesson are no longer the same as it used to be. Mr Reuben, we love you and we miss you a lot! But well, life has to move on. Hopefully he will teach our class again (:

this was my most recent blogpost under ITABS.

I noe I may seem evil posting th Mr. Reuben part.

But its an undeniable fact that he rocks.

ok luhs, first wk of sch i didnt get a chance to see him cos I went for th HMS Telematch thing & th 2nd wk of sch when i saw him, my impression of him was still so-so.

But I love his lessons because he dismiss us early, gives us break, chat with us lyk as if we're his frens. He's so friendly !

I tink I love him..oh gosh. HAHAHA. aiya nt just me luhs. my whole class okays !!! :DDDDDDD

21may2010?

2008-05-20T14:02:00.002+08:00

wat will happen two years frm nw.
i cn only hope and pray tat th miracle would come..
i really want to see you and my loved ones getting saved.
before th end time comes.
its coming real soon, but not yet.
[Mark 13:4-7]
4 “Tell us, when will these things be? And what will be the sign when all these things will be fulfilled?”
5 And Jesus, answering them, began to say: “Take heed that no one deceives you.
6 For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am He,’ and will deceive many.
7 But when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be troubled; for such things must happen, but the end is not yet

this wk's E-learning wk.
no need to go sch except fri. hees (:
im free to go out! jio me out peeps. hahaha :DD
im waiting for yaya to pass me th pics. den i cn update here !

Dear God,

2008-05-18T22:55:00.003+08:00

im sry for th past mistakes ive made. i noe i haf let you down and upsetted you.
thank you for not condemning me, and also forgiving me for whatever wrong things ive done.
thanks for bringing healing into my life. thanks for giving me strength and fill me with your love. its your love that will drive away all th emptiness and loneliness in my life. thanks for giving me friends to help me get thru this. thanks for removing th hurts and disappointments ive faced.
I noe everything will take time but with your help, i will be able to overcome this. i love you Father (:

today's Douglas' b'dae. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (:

received an email frm mingying..

***Guy's point of view
This is very cute! And even written by a guy! You might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99% of girls don't realize it 'til it is too late and that guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone who will take notice.

From a guys point of view:
We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, & some random guy walks into the room & you jump up & tackle him w/o even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till he morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood im in.
LET US PAY FOR YOU! DON'T 'FEEL BAD' We enjoy doing it. It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you.'
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.
Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.
Or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'.
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand im not sayin i wouldn't like it either.

Girls: I cannot stress this enough:
IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..........AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!

*****Give the nice guys a chance*****
Holdin Hands- > Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
> Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.
Cuddling- > Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Guys : Automatically move closer to her.
Movies-> Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
> Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.
Loving each other- > Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.
Laying below the stars- > Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
> Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.
guys: no grabbing!!!
> Guys repost this if you agree.
> Girls repost this if you think it's cute.
> Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this .

i guess i love you but in a different way.
as for what lies ahead in my destiny, it will unfold when th time is right.
& ive said this several time alr yet i'll repeat it agn

when th time is right, God will provide

some brief updates

2008-05-18T00:50:00.006+08:00

thurs aft sch went lib to do my CATS individual reflection thing.
left ten mins. before lib close. took bus to westmall.
saw ah gong on th bus. haa. chatted a bit.
he somehow a bit diff. le. nt so gentleman le bahs? >.<

fri had dinner wif jaime and evan and their mum.
her mum sent me hm aft tat. thanks :D

woke up early tdy (SAT). at 6.45 am.
metup wif dumbdumb,kk and birdbird b4 gg bedok.
had "breakfast" wif nicholas and eric too.
den we took bus to ahsoh's hse area to prepare a surprise for her bdae.
blowed some balloons. I love balloons! esp. my fav. purple de. hees ^^
she was really surprised to see us. cos she totally didnt expect us to turn up. HAHAHA.
her choco cake melt, so it was a lil hard to eat but we still managed to eat. hahas.
we went macs for lunch while she went hm to shower.
aft tat went her hse downstairs to fetch her den we went Eunos.
camwhored while waiting for her frens to come...
went expo for bible study wif dumbdumb. eyes closed a few times cos i was tired! >.<
svc was cold. Joel lend me his jacket tho he felt cold too. thnks (:
svc was great. could feel God's presence and love and i strted crying.
its been quite a while since i had such an experience. wonderful (:
aft svc went gran's for dinner & watched th 881 vcd aunt had.
den went hm aft tat le.

pics will be uploaded soon! before i end off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AHSOH! <33

to quacky: ive read ur blog. i want to help you in whatever ways I can. let me help you, alrights?
stop giving others th cold shoulder. they dont deserve it.
if you tink u're gonna disappoint them, think thru agn. hu will be th one disappointed first, you right?
wat i feel is tat u will only be disappointing urself and others if you keep avoiding them. (am i one of th peeps u're referring to when you sae you're not toking to peeps? )
im glad you've decided to open up mre to ur classmates. no one is perfect. you shld noe tat too.
im sure you will be able to click well wif them aft being wif them for a few mre wks/mths.
give them and urself time yea?
i wanted so many times to tok to you. everytime i see you online. but whenever i recall th times when i IM-ed you, you chose nt to reply. it hurts to see why you're doing this to me. why must you be lyk tat? if you dont wanna tok to me ever agn, tat's fine. jus let me noe and i will remove you frm my IM contacts list alrights?
reply aft reading all these. i want a response from you.

im trying my very best.
to forget everything.
but when i get onto th MRTs and see couples tgt.
i feel lyk crying alr.
buzhishizhegeeryi, wohenxianggaoshuniwohaishixihuanni.
danshiwomeiyouyongqiduenishuo, yinweipanijujuehuobuxihuanwo

14. I LOVE 1A01 (:

2008-05-15T00:18:00.007+08:00

a few hrs ago was still wed.
my most slackest day.
let me blog a bit bahs. hmms...

had lesson frm 10-12, aft lunch went lib to study wif classmates.
HAPPY ONE MONTH 1A01 ! (: LOVES <33
we overshot our limit to stay in th room. supposed to leave th rm at 3 but we left at 4..
so th others hu book th rm could only use at 4. and they didnt come in to chase us out sia. lols.
went westmall aft tat. wanted to study in lib. but no space. & there were 2 stalkers following me arnd in th library. kinda guess they wanted my no.
but i kept trying to avoid them. and when they came near me i jus walked past them.
in th end i tink they gave up n left le. HAHAHA.
i seriously hate stalkers can.
& if you wish to ask ppl for their no, pls dont do it in th lib. it seems very wrong!
a lib is supposed to be a place for reading and studying. GET IT RIGHT 8)
went burger king wif dumbdumb before we met up wif xiaoxuan n dan for dinner.
aft eating xx n dan left. dumbdumb accompanied me to take bus.
but i told him to go off first as i was meeting up wif pighead. felt sorry but was thankful that he pei-ed me luhs (:
pighead's sick agn. guys really haf weak immunse system. hais. get well soon!

1A01's blog is up! wahahahas. i love my class. it rocks!
and most of my classmates are nice people :DD
shuni, i miss you too >.<

when i saw you tdy,
i nearly wanted to break down a few times.
but i dont want you to see me cry.
but i was glad u met up wif me under ur hse tho u were sick.
felt lyk hugging you. but it'll feel weird.
& noe i will end up emo-ing aft tat.
i realise i still do love you. i still do miss you at times.

i'm unaware of what emotions i currently have .

2008-05-13T18:02:00.006+08:00

ignorance is bliss. watever.

had role playing in famres class.
was funny. hahaha. we acted out th I Not Stupid scene.
during break, met up wif my CATS grp. couldnt find any interesting activties...
so ive decided to put in th contact lens idea n perhaps find a few mre videos?
had Writcom in th lib. damn sucky cn. so hard to find a report frm Govt. Agency website._.
den aft everything finally done. i went to photocopy notes for my class.
carried laptop + psycho bk + notes hm was really difficult luhs. was struggling a bit >.<
but still managed to make it hm..hahas.

tmr is a wed! 2 hrs of lesson, makan n study wif some of my classmates aft sch.
evening gg bt. batok/gombak.
& well..tmr would have been...ah wells. no need to celebrate alr.
hahas. yumei's bdae is cuming! must prepare a surprise for her :DD
soon, th stars will be back to me agn.
at least tat's one of th memories i'll ever get to keep.
nth much to blog alr. before i end off here, there's a quiz. hees.

LAST
1. Friend you saw: Siow jun
2. Talked to on the phone: Jannah
3. Text: Ken

T O D A Y
1. Wearing: long sleeve and shorts and starrie shoes!
2. Better than yesterday: umm. still ok bahs.

T O M O R R O W
1. Is: a short day. cn relax!
2. Got plans: yupps. sch, study, go for pm.
3. Dislikes about tomorrow: nothing bahs.

F A V OR I T E
1. Number: 7
2. Color: purple !
3. Season: winter (:

C U R R E N T L Y
1. Missing someone: err. dont know.
2. Mood: sleepy
3. Wanting: sleep

Q U E S T I O N S / A N S W E R S
Q: 1st thing you did this morning:
A: turn off th alarm

Q: Last thing you ate and drank:
A: chocolate bread. fruit punch.

Q: What's annoying you right now?:
A: some stuffs i guess.

Q: Do you support long distance relationships?
A: nope. unless ur r/s is very stable and strong.

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A: a few people.

Q : Do you think that person is thinking of you too?
A: lols. dont know.

Q: Where was the last place you went to?
A: school

Q : Do you smile often?
A: sometimes. when i'm high (:

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: of cos. hahaha :DD

Q: Who's bed did you sleep in last night?
A: i slept on th sofa.

Q: What color of shirt are you wearing?
A: black.

Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?
A: using com

Q : When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: this morning

Q : Do you get angry easily?
A: nt really. depends on hu i'm wif?

Q: What were you thinking about before you went to sleep?
A: hmms. some people bahs.

Q: What song are you listening to?
A: no song currently. th last song was Ay ya ya Outta my head.

Q: Are you in love at the moment?
A: yea. wif God (:

Q: Have you ever really cried your heart out?
A: yupps. many times already did.

Q: Have you ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
A: yea.

Q: Do you cry when you get an injury?
A: if its very very pain. but seldom.

Q: Who can always make you happy?
A: hahaha. quacky, my gd frens etc.

Q: Do you wish you were happier?
A: probably. i havent really felt happy for quite some time le.

Q: Can music make you happy?
A: depends on wat songs i listen to nors.

HATE SECTION
Q: Who do you actually hate?
A: *N th wicked witch, Ant more-rice.

Q : Have you ever made a hit list?
A: nope.

Q: Are you a mean bully?:
A: nono. i am a nice bully. LOL.

HAVE YOU EVER
1. Hugged someone?
A: definitely -.-

2. Been on the phone until the sun came up?
A: hmms. almost bahs. it was close to sun rise. arnd 6.30+

3. Put a song on repeat for more than an hour?
A: hmms. i guess so. when i was obessessed wif tat song.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
wat do ppl mean when they sae the word love?
love and like is not th same thing yea? get tat right.
often, ppl are confused between like and love.
like=something you admire abt. tat person/ni dui na ge ren you hao gan.
love=there's this feeling inside ur heart. & w/o any explanation you know you love them.
at first i didnt get th real meaning of love. but nw aft gg thru so much, ive more or less
understood wat it means.
perhaps people hu haf been in r/s or been "in love" many times will keep thinking tat everytime they strt liking th person, it's love. but it's nt !
imagine each time u get into a r/s, you tell this person u love them, and u tell ur frens u love ur bf/gf too...
so wat happens if one day you guys breakup and each find someone else,
are you going to tell them th same thing lyk wat u told ur previous bf/gf agn?
th same 3 words, 8 letters, 1 meaning ma? wont it be meaningless ?
cos u're lyk repeating th same thing ovr n ovr agn isnt it?
oh wells. i blogged abt this cos it came into my mind.

wohetazaiyiqideshihou, xinglihenmaodun.
yinweiwozhidao, woxihuanderenshini.

i woke up late agn.

2008-05-12T19:13:00.004+08:00

oh gosh. i dno wat is wrong wif me nowadays!
tdy my dad woke me up at 8.
den i wanted to slp for a while mre.
so i slp n slp until 10.30 =x
hurriedly gt dressed and rushed out of th hse.
prayed for a cab n gt it fast.
God really listens to my prayer n ans. it ^^
reached sch a few mins. before lecture strted. *relief.

went canteen 3 during break.
sat there n tok abt...
aft tat we walked ovr to canteen 1.
managed to buy apple juice. hees.
den oso bought some snacks and a hotdog roll.
sat near LT68 and eat.
den go inside lecture hall le.
during break den went out to buy ice lemon tea.
felt bored den draw th wicked witch and ann.
hahaha. th rest laughed aft seeing my drawings. muahahahahas.
Psycho lecture was very long tdy. i felt it was luhs.
i took down notes until my hand damn tired n pain sia. >.< color="#993399">purple fone (w380i). mum said it's sophisticated looking.
wahahahas. might be getting tat. or maybe iphone? but its ex luhs =x
jiahui wants purple fone too! so maybe we might get th same fone aft all. hees (:

okays. nth much to blog abt. le. cya!

Quacky. hope you're fine. cheer up okays ! (:
im always here. LALALALALALA.

dont avoid me alrights.
there's a fear in me. and i cnt explain it out.
i dno wat to do.
cos it might mean losing you and i dont want to.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T02:50:00.003+08:00

to all mums out there.. Happy Mother's Day.
church svc was great tdy.
cried while 8 adults read letters of love to their mums as a form of thanks and gratitude.
was touching luhs. & i remembered abt tat day when 1 of my classmates shared abt her mum having terminal cancer. felt sad for her and cnt help but cry.
& i rmb lilian's grandma jus passed away nt too long ago. so they wont be able to celebrate mother's day wif her animre.
oh wells. and my aunt (my mum's cousin) has no mother. since her mother died long ago.
alamak. th mre i blog, th mre emo it sounds. im nt crying nw ._.
aft svc went bedok to eat.
hongda treated us. thanks :D
den nine plus left first wif willie to go find his aunt hu lives in aljunied.
she close shop le so we went up to her hse dere. aft he wished her HMD den we went off le.

ltr in th afternoon gg for cg.
intended to go visit pighead's mum before cg strts to wish her.
but it'll be a bit weird gg dere luhs..since.. oh wells.
dont tink his mum noes me anyway T.T
i helped him wish my mum and mum's response was "...blahs...blahs...your still got stay in touch uhs?" hahaha. probably cos she finds it unbelievable i guess.

ive done my RJ2 (reflective journal) & tat damn fireworks crap for ITABS.
so cn relax a bit for nw.
there's mre assignments to be completed- CATS, intpsy, writcom newsletter etc.
but i shall take a few days to slack a bit.
gonna cont watching my dramas! teehees
bye!

LOVE.

[updated at 12.18 am]
oh no. wat am i tinking?
hw cum i am feeling this way?
shucks. damn. im getting confused!
God pls help me.

tired.

2008-05-10T00:38:00.002+08:00

within another hour, it will be exactly 1 wk since tat incident alr.
thx God for his strength.
& i also wanna thank jiahui, shiya, ken, jiawen [i dunn hafta mention y]
for those of u hu dno wat i mean its okay.its nt tat impt nw anyways ^^
since things are alr okays, den i shant dwell too much on it.
getting emo since last sat till wed was kinda tiring and torturing me.
esp when i had assignments to rush out =x
we've decided to be bestfriends (:
at least we cn still keep in touch wif one another.

had Ambassador's interview on tues.
th person asked qns and told me to sae a joke. a bit impromptu.
but i managed to churn out a rather dry and crappy one.

wed aft sch met up wif Jaime.
we went Pizzahut for lunch,,n chatted abt a few things.
was supposed to meet pighead but he didnt cfm wif me.
so i went back to sch to use my laptop.
blahblahblahs.
felt much better at nite (:

thurs woke up late.
forgot timetable changed. lesson strts at 9 instead of 10.
8.15 gt up, get dressed n rushed out of hse.
was th last one to reach class.
I'm pissed off by wicked witch.
didnt even bother to give us any breaks!
i dont lyk her sia. kns. really wicked and evil. no wonder she still single ><
i shnt mention her name jus in case she visits my blog cos for my individual ppt slides i gt include a link to my blog. shld she visit den it'll be terrible if she sees her name. hahaha =x

fri (today) aft SW went to Atrium.
met up wif Jaime n her fren Shu Xian.
bought Banana Mania and Tuna Mayo Sandwich.
Brenda was late so we went into th Convention Centre for th dance party first.
chatted a bit wif Joshua jie. aft Brenda and her fren came den went inside th hall when th thing strt. aft a while jiu sian le den went outside to grab a bite.
went in agn still boring so we sat at a corner.
yaoguang came to find me. den chatted a bit.
den aft tat dance strt le.
was a crappy dance. one of th worst ones ive been to. =x
wasted my time sia. i could've done other things de.
anyways its ovr le. haha.

well nth much to sae alr.
im getting tired. shall end here. cyas (:

last updated on sun at 3.51am

2008-05-03T01:48:00.006+08:00

ive been controlling my emotions.
but im nt gd at it.
so i end up crying aft tat.
n crying a lot makes me tired.
so nw i cnt cont wif my assignment cos my eyes are blurred wif tears.

its funny how couples cn behave lyk frens.
and frens are closer to you than......
you tink they are.

actually most ppl will tink tat this whole prob has come to an end
but it still isnt cos it's supposed to be a temp. thing?
i jus told____tat i needed some time away from all these.
cos my heart needs to rest and heal.
i jus hope tat th miracle will come.
if u're confused aft reading this part, gt any questions jus ask me personally on msn yea?
oh wells. at least ive gt some things off my chest.
i feel much better nw.
tho i strted my water taps agn before i reached hm. lols.

went ahma's hse to conduct interview.
so i cn sae abt. 1/4 of my famres assignment is done.
com svc 3/4 done.
excel hmwk done.
psychology forum's 2 case scenarios are also done but late submission =x
so i feel slightly mre relaxed.
thank God for giving me th strength for these few days to complete my work (:

it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. -The Leap Years

hot weather

2008-05-02T21:55:00.002+08:00

its getting hotter recently =/
when will it strt to rain agn?
frm nxt mon to fri i wont be blogging.
neither will i be blogging tmr or sun.
nxt post will be nxt mon i tink.
but pls tag at my board so tat my blog wont be so dead!
i will stop blogging nxt wk becos ive gt assignments to be completed.
& if i dont complete them fast, i'll be dead. sighs.
nxt wk dont tink i'll be gg out much. perhaps on wed only ?

ive jus abt strted on my assignment on comsvc.
but its dry n ive gt no inspiration.
hw do i churn out 600 words on my perspective of local community etc?
i cant just tok crap or rubbish cos there's nth rubbishy for me to tok abt.
hais.. n there's oso fam&r/s assignment to be done.
& my ITABS assignment. shit tat stupid excel work. arghhhhh ! D:
tmr i wont haf much time to do much. so i've jus gotta cramp as much as i cn nw.

saw a few ppl tdy randomly.
first person i saw was "Whatever". those hu went for India trip shld noe hu i toking abt.
second person i saw was frm WRPF. she looked a lil diff. since i last saw her lyk 1yr +ago.
third person i saw was jaime! omg. keep seeing her on fridays. hahahas.
another person i saw was john frm cckss. been such a long time since i last saw him. lols.

when you miss someone, do you wish to see them?
nowadays when i go online. i keep expecting to see someone.
&when i see them i feel happy. tho i might nt be toking to them. lols.

zhutou uhs zhutou. when will i see you agn? [ sry. a bit random]

eh guys, aft most of my assignments are completed we'll go play pool okays! :DD

I love you guys for being there for me. thanks for th gift of friendship (:

happy ?

2008-04-30T01:18:00.004+08:00

Yes! I gt my B&J's ice cream tdy :D
JP n Nat were grumbling abt. having to queue up for th ice creams.
but it's nice isnt it? hahaha.
ate at BK for dinner.
den used com for quite some time.
took bus hm n fell asleep. didnt miss my stop. lols.

okays. rather brief post.
cos nw its 1 plus in th morning alr.
Tues, 29 Apr:
had a bad strt to th morning luhs. dont ask me y tho.
was a lil angry n upset cos of some stupid actions ppl did D:
Ms. Ann came late tdy so our whole class waited for her for abt. an hr.
being such "good" students, we of cos didnt pon her lesson. We wanted to okays!
lib quiz sucked. rubbish questions. a waste of time luhs pls.
went vivo aft tat.. n u noe th rest of th story. ice cream :DD

im happy for pighead. he made it! yea. hahas.
im getting broke luhs. hw to save $ ??
sec sch students having exams arnd this period of time. GOOD LUCK ! (:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

really wonder if i'm pms-ing.
getting kinda frustrated n pissed off easily.
i wont bother saying. cos i dont wish to cause a commotion or arguement.
not lyk as if it's even necessary to sae.
perhaps i'll jus keep it to myself. wont it be better this way? (:

It was Mr. Reuben's last day teaching us tdy.
felt a bit sad cos he's a really nice n patient teacher.
everyone loves him luhs. y must nellie take over our class ?! ):

there's changes to my timetable.
both a gd/bad news bahs..
bad news: thurs lesson strts at 9 and ends at 6.
gd news: wed only two hrs of lesson frm 10-12. which leaves me free for th rest of th day!

sighs. hafta strt doing assignments alr. bye peeps!

im mre certain.

2008-04-28T01:14:00.004+08:00

i guess ive been contemplating quite a while for this few days.
mildred n jannah were right. so is zhenxiang n jp n jiahui.
ive become clearer of wat i shld do. is a miracle possible?
this isnt wat i want so far.
th happiness i want, isnt something i cn expect frm u.
aft th disappointing moments and stuff.
wat haf u given me? empty vacant memories?

wanna thank JP for trying to cheer me up these few days.
really appreciate you lots n lotszxzxzxz. HAHA.
except those spastic screenshots of me. pls delete those. its so unglam! >.<>.<
th topic was "Is it nature or nurture that shapes a child? "
unfortunately for me, i was th preposition so which means i had to tackle th Nurture.
nt an easy topic. but i preferred th nxt stage.
which was to market a product to be sold to Ngee Ann students.
den nxt was to tink of a slogan for NP.
aft tat was a game of taboo. den we were dismissed aft tat.
nxt nxt mon will be an interview. oh gosh hopefully i'll be able to pass this round.

hais. im lazy to do my assignments or hmwk.
i need motivation pls!
Microsoft Excel sucks ):

pighead's sick. wonder wat's wrong wif him.
guys are mre prone to falling sick isit?
anyway, hope he gets well soon. 8)

& there's a feeling inside me tat i cnt explain.
ive never felt this way before.

look beyond th surface

2008-04-26T00:35:00.002+08:00

why cn ppl be unfriendly act indifferently?
im still being exposed to th bad light of poly life.
had CATS and SW today.
did Yoga for SW. mainly relaxation exercises were done.
aft tat headed down to dhoby n met th rest.
ate ljs at ps.
den walked to Paradiz to play pool.
its been a super duper ultra long time since i last played pool.
& i cn sae ive made some improvements since :D
eh guys nxt time we go play pool agn ok!
wait till my skills are better den i cn play wif JP they all le. lols.

i was disappointed wif certain ppl tdy.
dont hafta mention them anyways.
look beyond th surface of things...
is this their ugly side?

clearing up.

2008-04-24T01:17:00.002+08:00

for th past two days my mood hasnt been gd i shld sae.
cos partly i feel left out by one or two of my classmates.
and another part was cos i was tinking a lot of things regarding pighead.
well..at least im still nt so close to those classmates of mine.
hope things will improve mre ovr time. there's still other nice peeps in my class! (:

today was intcom class n ITABS class.
hahas. our class had a mass msn chat session. it was funny luhs.
my classmates were lyk toking abt hw hot Mr Reuben is -.-
and they strted "pushing" him arnd to Shaiz n Cheryl etc.
we had to make a video den aft tat could go off le.
left arnd 4 plus.
me n jannah went for th recruitment drive thing.
was quite fast. less dan 10 mins n we were off.
accompanied Joanne while she waited for her frens before gg for hockey.
ate th sandwich frm th stall at Atrium.
3 bucks for a sandwich wasnt worth it but it tasted gd ^^
left sch arnd 6 plus. took bus down to clementi stn n transferred to a train to city hall.
met up wif th rest of th cogl and jason, den had dinner tgt.
had Ben and Jerry's Merlionster aft tat :DD
sinful indulgence. its fattening luhs but nice lors. yummy !
went hm aft tat.

chatted wif pighead jus nw.
asked him questions agn.
im feeling better nw aft toking, thankfully.
im hoping for a miracle to happen.
Please make it happen God...

hope of th future

2008-04-22T18:38:00.003+08:00

once upon a time, there was a girl who loved apples. She ate so many apples till one day she choked on one and exploded...Then came a boy. He was a charming, dashing and a fine gentleman who also loved apples! He looked like an apple after eating a molehill full of apples. Soeveryone nicknamed him Mr Charming Apple. He loved the girl but now she's dead. So he ate himself cause he thought he was an apple. Then came another girl who saw him eating himself. She ate him too. So by the sunset he was gone, poor mr charming apple :'(
sad right? whatever, he's just an apple.

hahas. th story funny? created by me and mildred during INTCOM lesson yst cos it was so boring tat we nearly fell aleep. in order to stay awake, we made up this story instead. full or crap but fun. LOL :DD

oh yes, before i forget. i would lyk to thx Shaiz for sabotaging me to become th class rep for FAMRES. thx so much (: *sacarstic tone*
but i heard u get CCA pts for being reps. cool 8)
yesyes! tmr is Ambassador's opening. woohoos. exciting =)
btw shaiz, stop disturbing me luhs.
if nt i cum n hantum u!!! RAWRRRRRRSSSSS.

i seriously wonder wat is wrong wif me.
wat mildred sae was right.
n th mre i tink abt it, th mre i feel sad inside.
chatted wif stupidass jus nw n wat he sae made me cry.
im touched buddy, thanks. you're my pillar too (:

8 days..n im still counting.
wat will happen if i gif pighead mre time?
will ppl take time for granted? i hope nt.
i hope God quickly sends someone else to care for him.
cos i noe i'll leave when he manages to find someone hu cares.
& i'll spread my wings n fly to somewhere im needed mre.

once agn, i apologise for going on th wrong track.
i shld seek Him first before any other thing.
tho this 8 days haf nt driven me away frm Him
but i wanna be close to Him cos he's th one i love most of all(:

admiration

2008-04-21T23:51:00.003+08:00

my day has been rather boring.
kept dozing off during lectures.
& th aircon was damn cold, even when im wearing my jacket i was shivering.
aft lessons was th Mentoring briefing.
Jannah n I went to th place they told us, LT73A.
den we were queueing up to go register our names.
n one of th person stare at us and ask " are you from bs?"
den i gave her a blank look cos i dno wat she trying to sae.
i tot bs= buisness studies.
den she ask me agn " are you from bs or menotring?"
den i ask her "huh? bs?"
den u noe wat she sae? "BS is buddhist society"
den i was lyk wthck. so damn paiseh cn ?!
nobody told us th change in venue so we went wrong place. sia la.
den me n Jannah walked off laughing lyk mad. hahahas.
had th briefing at LT76. we decided nt to join this club..
our hopes are pinned on Ambassador. Please Lord, let us get in.

chatted wif shuni.
she gave me a link to a young mother's website.
it's touching to see th babies. so cute, tiny and lovely!
but its saddening tat most mums are single-parents.
hais..i jus hope they will be able to raise up their children properly.
reallly admire these mothers! jiayou jiayou! (:
but i hate th guys for leaving th mum and their child alone.
you guys had better be responsible for ur own actions ok.
if u dare to hanky panky arnd, make sure u be a MAN. grow up man.
take responsibility for wat u've done. nvr tot of th consequences eh?
selfish men , only tink abt their pleasure n nt consider others. #$!*%
women need your support. so dunn ever leave them.
i feel a sense of injustice for these mothers. ):

dont tink i'll marry young. cos by th time i've finished studying,
i'll be lyk arnd 25? lols. hmms. let's sae. if ive finally found my life partner..
den i'll probably get engaged first den once i finish studying den get married?
LOL. its still too early to sae. but well, we'll see when th time cums.

alrighty folks, will update my blog soon.
take care peeps! (:

2008-04-21T01:01:00.003+08:00

gosh. seriously th qn keeps coming into my head if i still haf feelings for him.
somehow i feel as if i dont love him, at least nt much as i used to perhaps.
but...peeps. if u dont lyk someone, will u still be wif them?
cn th feelings tat's been lose thru disappointments be regained back?

chatted wif quack twin.
his liking th girl reminds me of a past incident.
anyways, whoever tat girl is..u're lucky cos he's a great guy. lol.
hope ur two will be tgt someday yea (:
im looking forward to tat day. hahahas ^^

oh wells. mre pics cuming up lyk ive promised (:

Us wif Kelly Poon!
Me and shiya

Me and saunders

Me and stella

Me and germaine

Me and xiaoxuan

Me and fion

Me and joel

Me and tzzyian

Jason and me [i hate my fat face :( ]

Me and willie

Me and gabriel

Joelle and me

The pretty bride and th handsome groom ^^

Carolyn and me

Chloe, charlene, carolyn

i'll give you time ",

2008-04-20T11:43:00.009+08:00

UPDATE: i've added some of Corrine May's songs into my music playlist for my blog. It's in shuffle mode so everytime u refresh th page there will be another song playing instead of th current one (:

fri in th end i didnt go for Love Actually nor fantaZia.
went for makeup cg instead. had a great time dere (:
...
yst woke up arnd 7 plus.
went to Lilian n Ligek's ahma (maternal) de funeral.
became a bit emo aft tat when their mum broke down.
hais. funerals are always saddening.
it dampened a lil of my mood to go for bs in th afternoon.
went for lunch aft visiting th crematorium.
ate at chom pang food centre.
den went to shop a bit. bought suspenders w/shorts, a 3/4 denim pants & a pair of new shoes.
den aft tat bus-ed down to changi n took a train down to bs. [yes i decided to go]
aft bs was svc. Dr. Cho shared word. it was gd but her voice was a bit unclear n muffled...
so didnt really catch all of her words bahs. i lyk th cheery songs she composed (:
...
aft svc went to batok. walked wif pighead to his hse area.
chatted a bit. n he mentioned a few of his ex to me.
was a bit sad n happy to hear him tok abt. them.
cos at least he was strting to open up mre, which is a gd thing.
really hope i'll be able to noe him better as time goes by.
had prata at Alif wif pighead n eddie aft th small chat
oh gosh im worried tat pighead is a gay luhs. *frowns
but well. he better nt be. or else..hmms. let's see wat i'll do. nyehyehyehs.
xi guan le luhs. its ok to me. hees >.< ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jason's wedding day
Me and Carmen
Me and Jiahui

more pics will be uploaded soon :D
p.s. th image quality nt gd cos i took frm th screen.

priorities first

2008-04-18T11:20:00.003+08:00

im disappointed in myself.
cnt seem to get my priorities sorted out btwn make-up cell,
fantaZia concert and CCC's Love Actually event.
I feel lyk gg for both th concert and Love Actually.
but th timing sure will clash de. *sighs
arghh. wat am i to do? shld i gif CCC's event a miss? *shrugs.
okays. there's nth mre to blog abt. dont tink i'll be cuming online tonight.
so a bit of update on wat's happening for tdy.
ltr meeting Brenda before CATS (creative and applied thinking skills)module.
aft 2 hrs of CATS will be Sports and Wellness (SW).
den aft tat meeting up wif liyana and syairah to go for th concert.
... ... ...
tsk. pics on Jason's wedding day will be uploaded soon.
(:

tiring day

2008-04-17T01:08:00.005+08:00

wed, 16 Apr 08
wa, damn shag luhs.
tdy shuang dao. cos no lessons.
went for telematch nia. wahahahas.
played against school of Buisness, Engineering, CLST etc.
HMS won. woohoos! we were all happy luhs.
pighead sae i sure lose de. but in th end i won. muahahahas =P *grins*
chiong-ed down to FEP aft telematch ended.
worked for 1.45 hrs den left le.
went taka's mos to find jp, nat n erm..titus[ correct name?]
slack dere n use com while they play psp.
was a bit disappointed bahs.
cos i didnt eat dinner n wanted to buy food.
den i tot they gg taka's food counters dere but in th end they went Wisma's topshop.
i felt as if i was wasting a bit of time.
n pighead was alr waiting for me near my hse le.
felt bad for making him wait sia =x thankfully he wasnt angry.
bought panda biscuit, choco milk n wangwang ball cakes.
sat at playground, crapped n chatted for abt. 1 hr+
home-ed aft tat.

pretty tiring. but its been a long time since i last saw pighead.
was glad to be able to meet him tdy.
tmr no sch for me. cn enjoy le. woohoos!
(:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

thurs, 17 apr 08

im damn pissed off wif blogger. its my third time trying to post alr!
had no sch tdy. so managed to go out wif pighead (:
we went harbourfront. wanted to eat subway but no student meal.
den we went Sakae instead. was my first time gg dere to eat. was a nice experience luhs.
we ate 20+ plates of sushi. but two girls seating opposite us ate mre dan us luhs.
we were surprised as their appetites damn gd sia. so zai until cn keep eating non-stop.
summore we arrived ltr dan them n when we gna leave tat time they still eating cn ?! :o
oh yes. fried tofu is superb! make sure u order it nxt time u go. heehees :DD
gimme gimme more gimme more !! wahahahas. i love tofu ((:
went sky park at th highest level of vivo.
sat there, took random pics, crapped a lot. until it was evening den went hm.

platters of sushi

shorty vs tallie XD

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

btw sry guys if i seem to dao ur.
if i dunn reply ur msges or smses nxt time its becos im busy yea?
sch's jus got strted n ive gt stuffs to do, whether i lyk it or nt. >.<
i wont be blogging tat often le. yupps. gt work, sch, assignments, CCA etc.
as for meetups, i'll try to arrange my free time to meet u guys yea?
of cos priority goes to my dear ones first. hahahas.
love you guys loads!
& you too. XOXO.

makes me wonder.

2008-04-16T11:28:00.002+08:00

have you ever been in a r/s wif a person u feel as if u didnt love them lyk u once did?
isit possible to rebuild th love once agn?
jus wondering only. tag at my board if u've gt ans. to my qn. thx!

randomsity post.

2008-04-15T01:13:00.004+08:00

omg. i didnt noe elijah was mingyang's cousin!
he's effing gd looking n photogenic luhs :o
sry. i noe tat was kinda random -.-

lesson a few hrs ago [ as in mon] was ok bahs.
jus tat lecture hall 68B was lyk freezing cold.
n i forgot to bring jacket so was shivering a lot.
lecturers are funny. thx God they nt strict. hahas (:
im quite high tdy luhs. hahas. & cn click easily wif my coursemates.
really wonderful peeps in my class. shant stereotype ^^

went far east wif xiaoxuan, fion n stella for dinner.
den xiaoxuan n stella went to do a bit of shopping.
im go going back there nxt wk to buy mre shoes n perhaps a few shorts? hahas.

ltr no lesson in th morning cos tutorials strts nxt wk nia.
gonna go collect ez-link card n attend CCA fiesta .
n den attend telematch briefing. i was shocked to haf been chosen.
tot jodi or joanne would get in rather dan me.
hopefully i'll be able to shine. lols.
so i'll be skipping probably 2 periods of ITABS.

meeting bestiie up tmr!
wahahahas. very long nvr go out le.
i miss gg out wif th rest too. must meet up agn soon!
esp. quacky.. poly days are gna be busy but we'll still KIT yea?

some noe alr.
but it aint gonna be obvious.
go figure it out urself.
or jus bang ur head in th wall. LOL.
[random agn]

thx for those hu suggested nice places to go.
maybe i'll go there someday. hahahas.

i really hope tat ovr time, things will strt to get better.
i wan things to work out fine. lyk hu doesnt? -.-
all th best peeps! jiayou for ur poly life okays (:

-------------------------------------------------------------
updated at 8.12pm

gna change blogskin soon le. hahas.
cos navigational style a bit too ma fan :X

ppl hu lyk to tag negative stuff at other ppl's blog pls be warned.
you can be reported. dunn get wat i mean? pls read th rest of this paragraph for mre info.
those hu tag at ppl's blog w/o writing their names " eg Anti-xxx" etc
really haf no guts to admit hu they are. y?
cos they are lyk scaredy cats wif th lack of backbone or courage to admit..
solution: th best is nt to respond to them.
if they throw vulgarities in th tagboard jus ignore them luhs.
really no life n eng standard low until hafta use bad words.
its quite degrading luhs. n such a disgrace to modern day society.
its quite disappointing to see ppl wif lack of civility.

how to survive out there in a competitive world such as this?

perhaps they did nt learn enough of civics and moral education?
wonder wat's their purpose to attend schools and be educated,
when children from third world countries do not get exposed to school education.
i wont pinpoint any of these ppl hu takes education for granted.
if you do not learn things th proper way, pls gif up ur place in sch.
there are tohers out there who wants to learn more than you do.
depriving them of a chance to learn is such a pity.

shall blog abt. my day.
had only two hrs of lesson tdy cos tutorials for this wk strts nxt wk instead.
WRITCOM class was fun towards th end. shaiz and I were late for class. heh.
writcom is like eng lesson, jus tat we are expose to a slightly greater in-depth.
learned abt tone and register today luhs.
& also translating singlish sentences into standard english & vice versa.
let me show you two examples..

example one: singlish version.
ORIGINAL--->
I think, in this century, many people eat unhealthily one, you know. As a result, these people got big health problems.

AFTER MODIFICATIONS---> In my perspective, the majority of people are consuming unhealthily in this century. Consequently, they suffer from significant health complications

example two: standard english version.
ORIGINAL--->Half the children in the study took two of the medicated mints in the morning after brushing with a fluoride toothpaste. They followed the same routine at night. The other half brushed normally twice daily with fluoride toothpaste and took plain sugarless mints.

AFTER MODIFICATIONS---> You know hor, according to studies, some of the children took two of the mints with medicine in the morning after brushing with colgate. Then hor, they do the same thing again at night but the rest of the children brush normally two times a day with colgate and eat mints with no sugar.

went CCA fiesta. signed up for Aerobics, Campus Crusade and Mentoring club.
gna go attend NP Ambassador's opening nxt wk.
which means i'll be even mre busy nxt time le.
plus i might be doing part-time jobs every now and then.
but..of cos i'll do my best to keep a balance in work, studies and relationships =)
tmr gt telematch against sch of business, engineering, fsv, health sciences, life sciences and chemical tech etc. hope HMS will be able to win. woots!

im a bit worried for my tutorial class.
it seems lyk im th only high one in th class.
oh yes jan, tdy th teacher asked joel wat is his quirk.
u noe wat he sae? he doesnt like anything in particular.
wat a bore man *yawns*
and no girl's interested in him. lols. tat's wat he told th cher when she ask him if gt any girls lyk him or sumthing. *laughs silently*
uhh okays, toking abt. joel was pretty random. S-T-O-P it julia! arghhh.
okays watever. my blogpost quite long today. shall stop here.

ppl wif hard hearts haf to be dealt gently and soft.
they cant take hard approach.
we do not necessary haf to retaliate them.
in th bible i rmb a story if someone slaps you on one side of ur cheek [cnt rmb which side] den let him slap th other side as well.
& also, love your enemies; pray for those hu prosecute you.
things we find hard to do so, haf gotta be done.
let us take a step of faith and do it, den our breakthrough will come.

sch's strting!

2008-04-14T03:09:00.003+08:00

oh man. im a bit nervous :X
checked my class list.
dno any of my classmates, except maybe shayiz?
erm did i spell his name correctly? anyways shall see my classmates tmr.
tmd. jan's frigging schmate is gna be in my class.
arghh. no idiots but this psychopathic guy. damn!
i jus hope he doesnt cause th class trouble.
my class has lyk 23 ppl, mostly girls. odd no. classes dont look too gd eh?
i havent downloaded lecture notes either. find it troublesome.
but nvm. i dunn tink anyone in my class has downloaded it yet =x
well. shall end here for nw.

it's a special day tdy. i wont forget this day (:
niteszxzxzxz
shall update agn soon. yes wif pics!

2008-04-13T02:33:00.003+08:00

tiring day tdy.
ovrslept n woke up ltr dan my expected timing.
rushed to get dress dencabbed down to jurong west.
reached dere earlier dan th rest of my cg members.
so went down to help out a bit wif th ushering of guests.
chatted wif jiahui n carmen as well.
took photos during th Jason and Sherlyn's wedding matrimony.
gna upload th pics in th nxt post. [tsk. managed to take a pic wif Kelly Poon :D]
attended svc@ JW tdy.
it was gd, tho i ended up nodding my head off for a few times.
cnt help it luhs. still tired frm th camp i guess? :x
but th ending was gd bahs. haa.
aft svc went for th wedding dinner @ tjg pgr.
service of th staff was 2.5/5
food was OK, tho i didnt eat th fish or prawns luhs.
aft dinner, me n joel went to th nearest bus stop we saw.
spent abt. 10-15 mins waiting for 700.
it didnt come so we went to check th last timing for th bus.
it was at 1430. so we had no choice but to take a cab back hm as it was getting late.
yea. nth much le bahs. oso nt in a gd mood to blog actually.
hais. cn ur understand hw i feel?
if u look carefully, th first page of my blog is song lyrics tat ive composed.
& tat's exactly hw i am right nw.

y dont you tok to me? did something happen?

dont tok to me only when u're in a gd mood.
i rather nt tok to you.
im sry but uve altered my viewpt. of friendship.
this friendship isnt th way i want it to be..

back from camp

2008-04-11T18:17:00.006+08:00

[edited version]
hmms. nt gonna elaborate much on my FOC.
it was fun but oso very tiring.. i was in CHARA 2-Joyful.
tsk. my thighs are aching luhs. n my voice is nw sore. n ive become darker agn! hohoho :)
first day of camp was OK.
had ice breaking games and played afternoon games
but i hated th caterpillar bball game whr u had to move wif ur butts (ur legs cnt touch th floor)
n ur legs must be arnd ur fren's waist(th one standing in front of u). den u had to move lyk a caterpillar and den throw th ball to aim at a can on a chair w/o toppling th whole chair.
we didnt manage to complete all th stns.
aft dinner was costume preparations n night games.
den spent abt 25 mins to wait for bath time.
by th time finish bath was alr 1.30am? lols.
slept arnd 3am tat nite luhs.
but couldnt slp well cos one or two of my bunk mates were SNORING loudly.
n th aircon was quite cold luhs. when i woke up my nose was blocked.
had amazing race th nxt day. went sentosa n dhoby ghaut area.
den evening prepared for campfire night.
at night aft dinner we finalized th dance steps n change into our costumes for th fashion runway.
me n 9 other members frm my grp were models of superheroes. i was kokogirl! wahahas.
sounds lyk my name rite? :DD so i purposely chose kokogirl. hehehes.
blahsblahsblahs. aft grp performance was disconight but we went back to our bunks, gt our stuffs n showered.
by th time we slept was arnd 3plus le.
tdy was th last day.
had induction programme tdy which included course briefing, Halogen foundation talk etc.
i still dno majority of my coursemates yet! omg i hope tat everything will be ok luhs =x
when everything ended, me n liyana went opp. beauty world to lunch. th food price is nt tat reasonable luhs. 5.50 for a plate of fried rice and 3 bucks for drinks.
spent freaking long waiting for th bus until i nearly doze off.
by th time reach hm was 5plus le.
im shag luhs. nth much to sae abt th camp le.
nxt wk's fantaZia had better be gd. X))

made frens wif nice ppl in my team :D
ppl lyk Ruth, Syairah, Liyana, Si Jia, Ser Wee, Evan, Jodi etc.
jus found th other few team members weird tho. lols :x
oh yes, & i found out tat someone idiotic is gg to th same course as me.
if he gets into my class i'll stay as far away frm him as possible.
xia suay luhs. i wonder hw cn an idiosyncratic person lyk him end up in psycho.
dont get on my nerves uh, i warn u first. RAWRRRRSS .

im a bit disappointed n sad when i heard what u told me.
but anyways, im glad to haf you as my fren (:
thx for letting me experience th feelings ive once lost.
thank you.
my sadness turned into tears.
& i cn only hide them.
i realise hw much i miss bk.
i still had some hopes tat day..
will th hope ever go away?
*sighs

when you love someone, shld get tgt in a r/s?
i read ya's blog..wat she sae has impacted me a lot.
as i tink abt wat she's said, i cnt help feeling emo.
so peeps, if you love someone but tat person treats u as a sister or brother
den i guess u jus hafta move on? cos if u tell th person hw u feel
den ur friendship wif this person will lyk sort of be distant aft tat? i tink so :x
things between ur will be awkward le bahs.
unless they "chang fan diao" when they sae they treat u as sis or bro,
(when they haf feelings for u but hide it to themselves until u confess?)
get wat i mean? if dunn understand pls ask me personally. -_-'''
& if i love someone for very long but th person alr love someone else,
i'll jus gif him my blessings luhs. no pt holding on to something tat wont be there.
perhaps if i ever get to muster my courage to confess, i will..but aft lyk a few mths?
but it makes no diff. if u gt sae or nt.
unless tat person is a soft-hearty den he will maybe haf second tots abt u? dots.
oh yes. regarding th gougoushou thing, i dnt really believe in promises.
tat's y i sae it's lyk an agreement.
cos sometimes promises are meant to be broken arent they?
everything except God's promises are untrue.
once i made a promise wif someone but up till nw still haven fulfill.
its gonna be 6mths since tat promise le. so...isit considered broken?

question for everyone: "Why do friendships between people become distant after one of them confess their feelings for th other, n instead of being accepted, was kena rejected? Why can't they continue staying as gd frens? Is love th only thing that matters to them?"
do tag at my board yea?

tmr is th day!

2008-04-08T22:39:00.002+08:00

woots. camp strts tmr.
exciting sia.
HAHAHA.
okays. before i go, feel free to checkout this website:
http://www.friendster.com/group/tabmain.php?gid=1406508
created by my stupidass fren [Zhenxiang] n his godbro.
so if any of u guys interested in joining, cn jus join okays.
just sae u're my fren cn le.
LOL !
watever.
seeems lyk a boliao club rite. nvm jus join for fun. dunn do anything oso cn de. hahaha.
-_-
okays. ill end here le. gotta get packed for camp.
bye guys!

i guess th supernatural has happened.
he doesnt seem keen on toking to me le.
thx God for helping me to get thru this. (:

im still a bit flustered luhs.
quackquack u must help me okays!
regarding M^2, forget abt. it luhs.
dere wont be a possible outcome de. lols.

happy day

2008-04-08T02:52:00.002+08:00

hahaha.
u noe y i was able to blog my previous post?
cos i went lib to use wireless.
sat there for mre dan 5 hrs. n my butt pain aft tat :x

went lib alone.
arnd eight plus ahgong came to find me.
so touched sia.
he actually ask me go find him den we go eat.
but i told him i nt even at hm.
he ask me whr i am so i told him i was at bp lib.
n i suggested y dunn he cum find me.
so he really came! i was happy luhs^^
my first time seeing him. felt a bit paiseh at first.
os its my second time meeting ppl frm online.
but well..he was able to make me laugh throughout his company wif me.
hahahas.
he saw my O lvl cert,
den he sae i action.
cos my oral gt distinction [ for chi] n my chinese A1.
he tot i go buy th cert de. muahahas. i pro sia. :DD
of cos nt buy de luhs! is kao wo zi ji de ben shi he shi li de okays.
so wat if i seem mre eng, my chi still betta dan eng. jus tat i prefer speaking eng nia.
RAWRRRRSSSSSSS. *sticks tongue out
den lib close.
so we went mac.
for a while den he left..
aft watching my video den i went hm oso.

wakakakas. tdy's a gd day for me.
(:

drawing near to you

2008-04-06T21:24:00.003+08:00

through the storms and raging seas
i will never be alone
when my hope seems out of sight
i know you will shine your light
(:

okays. i apologise for nt updating -.-
well. blame it on my broadband modem.
seriously mIo sucks luhs.
its nt even wireless sia. @#$%!
idk y, th whole mIo thingy keeps restarting by itself
freaky huh. damn weird luhs.
n i was toking to ahgong on msn. so every few mins. i kena d/c
was quite frustrated luhs. den went mac to use oso cnt connect to th internet.
lyk serious wtphck is happening?!
arghhh .

hahahas. ive finally managed to get my O lvl cert.
phew. a great relief eh. lols.

congrats to jiahui.
sighs* hope she doesnt forget abt me..
nw tat she'll be mre busy. hahas.
but anw, last long yea? (:
pls tell mr GuoEn to read this:
hey. congrats. but u better nt bully uhs.
if nt i cum aft u. smack u upside down till ur mum cnt recognise u.
hahahas. i alr very gd le. gif u discount sia.
if dunn wan discount den i'll get a bulldozer to flatten u into a pancake.
MUAHAHAHAS. :DD
hahas k luhs i jus joking only.
MAY u last long. [yes, i saw tat comment u sent her].
okays nth else le. byes!

recently i gt to noe sumone on msn hu is quite easy to tok to.
i tink im strting to lyk him >.<
n he really reminds me of my first love ages ago.
hahas. sumtimes its just so gd to reminisce abt th past,
esp. if it's wonderful. lols.

okays. ive made a decision..
i shall play less viwawa.
cos i realise its affecting me a lot.
during praise n worship i keep thinking abt th game.
cnt concentrate at all sia!
so maybe i'll play max. twice a wk n 30 mins each time.

poly strting soon le.
n soon it'll be th end of th hols.
ive checked my timetable. it ends latest at 5pm on one of th days.
& th best thing- my earliest lesson strts at 9am. earliest timing lessons end-1pm.
btw, im tinking of getting a job..
ppl recommend me jobs pls.
anyone wanna go work oso?
i need money luhs. my daily allowance is barely able to cover my expenses.
n since i gt my atm card, ive been drawing a lot le. shitters :x

this wk is gonna be a busy wk.
my FOC camp will be on 9-11.
i hope it ends early den i cn go for Planetshakers concert at night!
Jason's wedding will be this sat. damn excited cn! hahas.

th new OM sucks.

2008-04-04T17:35:00.003+08:00

hoho. saw marvin on th bus on my way to sch.
chatted a bit..
he seems to haf mre pimples appearing, tho he saes its lyk clearing. lol.
...

seriously, i detest th new OM in CCKSS.
sucks man. wat a loser. 8(
okays. so wat if i was wearing t-shirt and shorts and clad in slip-ons?
cnt i jus go in to th general office to get my cert hurhs?
wat is wrong wif u bloody chicken?! grrr.
made a wasted trip to sch luhs. thx to tat retarded asshole.
OM: "your shorts is too short"
ME: "huh..but i came here. cn let me go in. only the general office la. please. "
[in my heart i was tinking WTF. of cos shorts is supposed to be short luhs. damn]
OM: "no. & your hair is dyed. besides, today is a CCA day. there are many students arnd"
lyk wthck ! valerie was there too, her hair was dyed so y she n th rest cn go in sch while i cnt?
he jus wants to make things difficult for me eh?
& now im paying adult fare so it costs me mre to travel. cnt u understand? !@#$%
RAWRRRS. ive blacklisted him alr.
must i wear a tudung n dress lyk a malay before he'll be able to let me in?
wat a disappointment man.
blahs.

okays ive vented enuf anger. chill it chill it. calm down. things gonna be alright.
i'll jus wear long pants nxt time (:
if he catch me agn. im gonna shout at him. till his ears go death maybe?
HAHAHA. jus th tot of it makes me happy. awww, im saddistic anyways (:
muahahahas. this therapy sure does help.

i'll be changing fone soon.
looking at Sony Ericsson fones.
anyone recommend me a fone model?

2008-04-03T13:39:00.007+08:00

gonna update on yesterday.

went FEP in th aft wif mingyang n JP to cut JP's hair.

we discovered a white hair among th other strands.

mingyang was grossing me out luhs, sae th white hair looks lyk p****c hair.

n he even took a photo of tat white strand of hair luhs. ewww.

aft tat we walked to Meridien. ate dessert den went to th lan shop.

watched them play CS. haha.

den nick came. finally saw him aft so damn long luhs!

den he strted scrutinizing my tights. -.-

haha. den he sae he wanted to get a drink. so we went to th foodcourt.

but aftwards he decided to order dessert instead, summore is th same as th one i order earlier on. lols.
sat down. chit chat. was great toking to him la.
halfway thru i noticed a stall wif a signboard "Carrot Cake" but sold yong tau foo. hahas. it was funny to look at bahs. even nick oso laughed when he saw th signboard.

aft a while those tat play Lan came to join us at th foodcourt.

ate dinner den left le. went SMU for prayer meeting.

aft tat went to find JP n th rest.

den walked to meridien to watch aaron, his cousin n jp play pool.
took snapshots of them playing. shall post them up ltr. wahahahas
frm there walked to FEP bus stop to take bus.
saw th person hu cut my hair. but he didnt recognise me. ahhas.
reached hm arnd 12.20. so tat abt. summarises my day (:

pictures (:

before cutting his hair

after cutting his hair

too bored. lols.

mingyang n me.

dessert time!

nick and me.

the yong tau foo shop wif th carrot cake signboard. hahas.

pool session

someone's trying to act cool.

JP trying to kiss aaron. LOL.

th abnormal one is acting like a twit. XD

Happy April Fool's Day! (:

2008-04-01T14:16:00.000+08:00

tdy is th beginning of another new mth.
so quickly its th last mth of th first quarter of th yr.
things didnt go smoothly for th past few mths.
hw abt u? has this yr been fulfilling for u so far?

i rmb tat day when Pst Tan tok abt Procrastination.
indeed it cn get us no where.
& besides, we human beings haf no control ovr our lifespan on Earth
so while we cn still get things done, y dont we do it..
instead of leaving it to tmr or th day aft nxt?
perhaps we tend to procrastinate when it cums to doing tasks we dont lyk
but if we are able to overcome this stage of procrastination,
things will surely be easier to handle n we wont haf too much on our plates.
dont you tink so? agree wif wat ive said?

i realise tat ppl tend to think a lot nowadays.
its one of my faults, i cn admit.
but rmb, thinking positive tots is gd.
whereas negative tots are only going to harm our mind.
cos th devil keeps giving us negative tots abt something or someone.
so it tends to alter our perspective of things.
we must be strong n stay connected to God (:

well ive nth much to sae le. so i'll jus end off here.
someone's coming back tdy.
must brace myself for wat's gna happen.
bye peeps!
Happy April Fool's!

2008-03-31T17:53:00.000+08:00

received an email frm skye kor.

男朋友該怎對待女友的本分：

１.無聊時陪她〃

２.難過時安慰她〃

３.男生要主動點〃

４.多約女友出去〃

５.不能讓女友主動約〃

６.讓她每天都開心愉快〃

７. 要好好對待女友〃

８.順從女友的意〃

９. 不要讓她傷心難過〃

１０.當她被欺負要立刻去保護他〃

１１.不要隱瞞女友事情〃

１２.不能背叛女友〃

傳給0 個人，永遠是單身。
傳給15個人，喜歡的人會來跟搭訕。
傳給30個人，妳喜歡的人會主動對妳提出交往。
傳給40個人，喜歡的人會主動吻 [LOL]

sry. i wont translate it into eng..go figure it out for urself if u cnt read chi. hahas.
pardon me for being evil. nyehyehyehs .

time to be focus.

2008-03-31T03:02:00.000+08:00

it's 3am on 31 Mar.
guess its a special day for Jiahui. woohoos!

had cg in th afternoon.
word was gd. was abt sacrifice of praise.
even when we are sad or angry or whatever dampened mood we haf,
we shld still praise God and rejoice.
& one thing for sure is tat God is bigger than th problems we haf.
no problem will be hard for him to help us resolve.
& lyk wat Jason said, we shld focus on God's promises instead of th problems we face in life.
before cg ended, there was a strong presence of th Holy Spirit.
Jason laid hands on each of us n prophecy.
Aft he prayed ovr me, i could feel heat coming from the inside of my body.
& my face felt warm too.
it was an awesome feeling.
i've nvr felt lyk this before, nt tat i cn rmb.
yea but i believe at tat time God was trying to restore my soul & bring inner healing.

i noe wat decision i've made.
i'm certain it cn nvr be wrong cos its th path i believe God wants me to take.
i'm sad of course, that ive to give up th tot of getting into a r/s.
but sacrifices are needed in order for God to move in our lives.
so yupps..a rather painful thing to gif up 2 people i love.
right now i cn only pray and hope tat they will be saved before th end time comes.
i still love them both of course, because it was God's love for me tat made me able to love others.
& i noe somewhere out there, there's someone that God is gg to place into my life.
im nt sure when it will be. but when th time is right, God will provide (:
so now..while i'm still young, i'll let God take control of my life.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!
thx for always being there (:

long post. beware (:

2008-03-30T03:18:00.000+08:00

finally my new blogskin is done. phew!
well. wanted to change my previous vintage skin into a butterfly skin.
unfortunately th codings for th butterfly one didnt turn out well.
so now i've changed it to this current skin.
wont be changing blogskin as often as in th past le.
y? cos i'm satisfied wif this skin.
& of course, slightly more modifications will be done to this skin soon.

svc was gd.
felt lyk as if God was speaking to me.
yea. we haf to make decision in life, but wat's most impt is making th right decision
was a bit emo aft svc tdy.
really wonder if its my fault.
tat i cnt really click well wif my cg ppl.
i feel lyk i cnt tell them my xin shi or probs.
n to me casual tok is boring luhs.
lyk no topic to tok abt den will cum n tok abt casual stuffs.
might as well dont tok right? so liddat cn save my breath n energy.
sry if i sound selfish. but i'm me.
im straightforward. i dont lyk to guai wan muo jiao.
get used to me if u havent done so. (:
uhh anyways back on track..
how do ppl in th same cg maintain gd terms if they haf diff?
tag my tagboard for ur opinion/ to ans. my qn yea? thanks loads (:
sometimes i really wish i could transfer out.
but i noe transferring is very troublesome n hafa adjust to changes agn.
as if adjusting to changes is easy. lyk duh.

had combined cg BBQ yst at ECP.
was glad tat a few of my frens came.
went tgt wif jp, chow n mingyang.
we alighted at th wrong stop n ended up walking one big round sia. -_-
so by th time we reached, jus nice. we rented bikes n ride for a while.
den it strted drizzling a bit so we rode back to th BBQ place.
JP MIA halfway.
so we went to look for him.
ended up he was at th pier looking at th sunset [ n emo-ing] bahs.
hmms. aft a while then they ate a bit n left le.
so aft tat i ate my dinner.
den went to sit at th beach to look at th manymany beautiful stars,
at th same time wondering if he's looking at th stars too.
apparently no one really noticed tat i was nt at th BBQ place.
maybe my existence among them is nt impt i guess?
helped wif th BBQ a while. den josh called to sae he cuming.
so went off to fetch him.

blahblahs.

brought him to th BBQ pitt.
had to lyk force him to eat cos he didnt wan.
n he looked so weak as if he could faint alr.
so we went back to th rocks i wa seating on.
tok halfway den i saw cockroaches.
gt freaked out luhs. screamed n ran away. wasted th chicken. sobs.
blahs. den left arnd 10,40+
walked towards underpass n realise my wallet wif Gabriel.
so bo bian had to go all th way to parkway to find him
den josh insisted me n willie take bus wif him to bedok.
by th time we reach dere alr no mre train le.
so we took bus no. 2 to bugis. cabbed home frm dere.
reached hm arnd 1 plus. .

for those interested in going for Planetshaker's concert,
it's on 10-11 Apr at Expo Hall 10.
Starts at 7pm. Admission is free.

such a pity i cnt go.
thx to my FOC.
but nevertheless there's always nxt time(:

ahh. its alr 3.37 am
i need to slp le. cyas peeps!

ramblings.

2008-03-27T15:00:00.000+08:00

yikes ! the feng muo come back agn le.
argh. went to th doctors' n she said it might be due to food allergy.
but i dno wat food sia. T.T

wonder if it's a coincidence, or i'm xia suay?
some people are going to th same poly as me.
ahem. thankfully nt th same sch building man. *laughs.
PTL :DD

had prayer meeting on tues nite at SMU.
wow. it was awesome man.
there were things lyk inner healing and holy laughter etc.
laugh until stomach pain (as in ache frm too much laughter)
but aft everything stop, miraculously th pain was nt dere animre.
Jason spoke to me abt. bgr stuff. & i noe wat ive gotta do.
but will i be able to do it?
woshizaishiburenxingshanghaini, yinweiwozhidaohuishebudeni.
maybe i'm alr emotionally attached bahs. *sighs

had a mini class outing wif xuan, jeremy, jonathan, laurel, shiwen and nicole.
went town. had lunch. watched Be Kind Rewind.
went Far East to buy my sch bag. [th aunty recognises me. LOL !]
bought Sweet talk. walked all th way to PS to meet jeremy n laurel.
chatted a bit. den went hm.

blahs.

dearest is out of town.
will miss you :x

hahahahaha.
okays. enuf crap.
im changing blogskin soon.
stay tuned. yaoshimuyidai wors!

to QUACKtwin: ive read ur blog alr. thx for th 2nd post. (:

Tagged by Carmen, Jiahui and Janyssa

A. List of 7 habits/ quirks/ facts about yourself.
-I like bananas because they make me go high
-but my fav. fruit is actually apple (:
-I haf 5 husbands currently: Spongebob Squarepants, Wu Zun, He Jun Xiang, Ken'ichi Matsuyama and lastly BK.
-I love Japanese and Taiwan dramas. [but nt hose oldies shows]
-I haf th tendency to camwhore when i'm bored. LMAO.
-Town is one of my frequent hangouts.
-I love black roses and shopping sprees (:

B. Tag 7 of your friends.
-JP twin
-Jiahui
-Janyssa
-Carmen
-Shiya
-Shihui
-Marvin

why?

2008-03-25T02:28:00.000+08:00

am i trying to push b.k. away?
sometimes i feel as if i miss him
n really wish to meet up wif him.
but somehow everytime he initiates to go out or sumthing..
i will lyk dunn wan to go out wif him.
idk wats wrong wif me sia.
argh. maybe cos i don wanna be disappointed?
i cnt lose my focus.
urghh. qi si ren le.
dunn worry, u're still my dearest x33
all along, i realise ive been th one at fault.
im sry to be so foolish n imprudent at tinking it was ur fault.
maybe cos each time i see you, im scared ill miss u even mre aft tat bahs.
oh wells. wat am i toking.
focus julia, focus!!

2008-03-25T00:38:00.000+08:00

its been 5 mths n close to half a yr
ni zhen de you deng wo ma,
or its all for th sake of saying?

yst was Easter Sunday.
unforgiven sins haf been forgiven.
perhaps..tat's th purpose of Easter for me.
to forgive ppl hu haf hurt me n those tat ive hurt in th past,
to let go of bitterness, anger or resentment.

recently, quite a no. of ppl i noe haf been getting emo.
but well. cheer up alrights? go unwind !!
blahs.

dunno y i feel lyk as if gt a lot of things i wanna sae de.
but th tots cnt seem to form into words.
so. i cnt type it down here.
i dont feel lyk uploading pics yet.
we shall see first. sighs*
my rashes haf finally strted to clear up.
hopefully it won come back agn. damn irritating !
zzz. okays i'll end here le.
bye peeps

had a feeling i'll see you online.
true enuf :D

it's ok to fail. As long as you keep trying and never give up, then you have succeeded

Happy B'dae Mummy!

2008-03-22T02:05:00.000+08:00

yea tdy was my mum's b'dae.
went Crystal Jade for dinner. haa. th food nt bad luhs.
went past Options. made me reminisce abt th time i pei-ed bk to buy his cny clothes.
haas. memories (:

went for Easter svc at Jurong West wif my bro n his fren's cg.
drama was gd. th ending always made me tear as I rmb th sufferings of Jesus.
sermon was a short and brief one.
den went to meet our parents aft tat for dinner.
aft tat went to accompany buddy to study.
wished i had brought my lappy along man.
spent time reading book and help buddy wif his lit. work.

went hm. cut th cake etc.

sry..i havent uploaded photos frm my hols yet.
will be coming soon (:

when i saw you today i nearly cried several times.
i miss that special smile on your face.
when will i ever get to see it agn?

bk was online.
he chatted wif me.
asked him some questions luhs. a bit weird..but he still ans anyways.
just, that one stupid qn. if he's attached.
i feel lyk laughing at myself. felt so silly for asking him when it's prob no.
hahas. dont tink he's th kind of person hu will two-time others bah.
i will strangle him if he really gt sia. RAWRRRS.

hope JP's feeling alright.
i sense that he's a bit confused, lost?
but i believe he'll be able to breakthrough.
yea man! u cn do it (:
hohoho.

tmr's a busy day.
meeting felicia to collect class tee. den gg expo svc wif josh jiejie n mingyang.
aft tat going down to Covenant wif jiejie n meet th rest tat Julia Tan invited.
Glenn Lim's gonna be dere tmr. exciting sia. lols.
whees~ Happy easter peeps! (:

i'm glad tat you went expo for svc tdy.
but sadded tat u didnt tell me u were dere until u were online jus nw.
anyways, i hope u'll go agn nxt time.

this trial thing. has it lyk strted or wat?
i hope you're nt acting dumb when i ask u.
but we'll just watch and see. time will prove.
i dont go for empty talk. i need action too.

its better to have loved and lost, than to lose nothing at all.

2008-03-21T11:45:00.000+08:00

damn sickening !
had th intention of gg tanning yst morning.
but my rashes was still damn bad. actually its mre lyk hong mok or feng mo in chi.
rawrrrs. i cn literally scratch myself to death luhs. urghhh.
for th past two nights i've had problems slping.
cos i feel so itchy tat i keep scratching n scratching.
until nw my skin is lyk tearing or something?
tat's hw terrible it was.

den in th ltr part of th day my skin was better.
so..went for a movie wif JP.
hahas. long time nvr really go out wif him le.
but yst really fun. tho we didnt camwhore.
cos everytime i see his face makes me feel lyk laughing,
& i cn jus abt laugh at almost everything he sae.
cos he has dry humor n an air of sacarsm. HAHAHA.
which makes him my twin. whees (:
haa. it was th going back hm time tat i was sad.
i'd dropped my ez-link card unknowingly.
so no mre concession le. hais :(

finally when i read something for once,
i can smile over it.
i do feel sad in my heart.
but i noe it doesnt hurt.
if letting go was th right choice,
ive understood wat significance ive brought abt.
thank you (:

Only beautiful memoris remain

wat a fine day

2008-03-19T10:38:00.000+08:00

hahas. yst had a great time wif jiawen nehs.
went to shop for clothes agn luhs. n i spent ovr 100 bucks !
bought 3 tops, a pair of shorts, a halter neck, and a dress. lol.
ohh yea. met JP at far east. haha. was damn happy to see him cn.
i miss him so much! finally get to meet up agn. lols.
but he decided nt to cut his hair. so it was sort of lyk a wasted trip for him.
blahs. his hair is long enuf to make him look lyk a shaggy dog luhs. [dont tell him i sae tat]
hahas. but jiawen sae he's gd looking. blahs. X]
we met jason, stella, fion n jeremy for dinner. Jason treated us to NYDC.
hahas. i ordered th 3 Amigoes agn. but chose penne pasta this time round.
th food is gd, esp th cheese but too many onions inside. *bleuch*
haa. aft tat we went off separate ways.
me n jiawen walked back to far east agn
den. we went to th japanese shop to buy mochi ice cream.
th yam n peach flavor is oiishi but th green tea flavor was so artificial luhs. haa.
aft eating den headed back hm le.

hmms. tdy i wont be doing much luhs. jus slacking n watching videos (:
i love videos ! wahahahas. okok. cya peeps. bye!

i cnt sae i love you. cos i dunno if i do.
i noe deep inside my heart misses you.
the days spent apart
makes the heart grow fonder
&you may wonder
when our paths will cross each other
it maybe now or never
so take the chance
and do what you can
before its gone dont start to regret

what's happening to me?

2008-03-17T15:54:00.001+08:00

omgomg.
i'm lyk getting shorter ! damn .
n heavier too :(
one thing i hate abt th hols is tat u tend to gain weight.
ARGGHHH. pekchek pekchek !

went for medical checkup jus nw.
quite ok bahs. didnt wait long.
first was th x-ray. had to wear th gown they gif u. looks lyk bathrobe sia. lols.
den nxt was th blood test thingy.
i was scared at first, cos i tot they going to inject me.
but instead they inserted a needle into one of my veins near my elbow.
den th blood was slowly drawn into th test tube.
wa th drawing blood feeling was exciting >.<>

i seriously dunno wat is wrong wif me!
why am i insensitive towards others sumtimes?
will happy endings haf happy beginnings too ?
i wish to tell you how i feel but perhaps you will be insensitive towards wat im gonna sae.
perhaps i shld jus leave things th way it is le.
i wanna gif u an explanation cos i noe th reason i gave you tat day might seem lame.
but you wanna hear me out? or you just wanna move on le.
well anyways i noe u sure cn find sumone better.
& dunn haf any diff. in religious backgrounds.
its nt easy for a Christian to be in a relationship wif sumone hu isnt a christian.
if nt me n you-noe-hu would haf been tgt long ago le.
its nt tat i dunn like him or you.
both of you are diff. n there are certain aspects frm both of you tat i like.
jus tat..well. ppl wif diff. religions will haf diff. opinions on th values in life.
so. there will be a lot of tension n conflict in th future which of cos i dunn wish to have.
i noe it may seem unfair to you. sighs.
wat i want is a sense of security, someone hu i cn tell my probs n worries to, someone hu is accepting of others, someone hu loves others for who they are. & most imptantly, someone hu will grow Spiritually in his walk wif God tgt wif me. its nt jus abt. companionship you know?
but if i really hafta choose between God n r/s i will sae tat...

all r/s on this earth are temp. but a relationship wif God is eternal n everlasting (:

i miss you loads ! :(

2008-03-17T01:11:00.000+08:00

no title for my post today.
cos i dunno wat title to gif it. lols.
th guilt n sadness are sort of gone le.
but i cnt help feeling apathetic.
really wondered if ive made th right decisions.
dont wanna get my hopes n other ppl's hopes high as well.

i'm still trying to get on wif life just th way it is.
& it's a wonder i'm still able to stand up n be strong..
cos i noe very well tat my own might is nt enuf
& i thank God for being my source of strength (:

this wk's gonna be exciting!
tmr going for medical checkup le. yes finally. but im worried =x
tues going out wif jiawen jie. wheehees ~
wed maybe pei buddy or best fren to study & oso attend PM at Jason's hse.
thurs go tanning. hopefully at nite cn go dating wif twin! I MISS UR FATS :DD
fri maybe go gym or sumthing.
& den perhaps attend Easter svc @ JW; at nite go celebrate mum's b'dae
sat easter svc. sun easter svc oso bahs. lols.

tink tat's all le bahs. wahahahs.
tdy during cg i was able to focus mre le.
which is gd, becos i havent been able to do so for a really long time le.
well anyways, i'll jus end off here for nw.
take care peeps!

no connection

2008-03-15T19:21:00.001+08:00

hais.
i'm happy tat ive finally gt my laptop.
but i cnt set up an internet connection for it.
so nw i cn only use my hse com to blog. RAWRRS.
nth much le. lols. bye (:

th only memory i'll haf left is th stars

tiring day. emo.

2008-03-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

yst spent most of th day at Jason's hse to help him wif his wedding cards.
went arnd 1.50 pm...n reached hm arnd 12.50 am.
it was madness luhs. spending a very very long time to complete what seemed like 1000over cards to me.
but i'm quite happy tat managed to complete everything le. woohoos!~

went sentosa tdy.
rain a bit so we only managed to pai one MTV.
aft tat went Chnagi Airport for dinner.
th rest went to play LAN but i didnt join them.
went hm aft tat.

sorry if ive disappointed you.
i'm afraid to love.
i tink i do like you but God comes first.
& u're a non-believer so we will be unequally yoked.
of cos our friendship will never ever change.
sorry if ive hurt you in anyway.
it hurts me to make this decision too.

Thanks JP twin for chatting wif me n making me laugh genuinely.
Thanks Josh jiejie for listening to my ramblings.
Thanks Roger for giving me some advice.
(:

heartpains. can you feel it?

raindrops keep falling on my head.

2008-03-13T10:31:00.000+08:00

as th title of my post suggests, yeapps its been raining these past few days.
perhaps because people are either singing Umbrella or crying.
i notice something tho...whenever we cry, it will strt raining.
ok it might not be ourselves whom cry but others.
why am i toking abt. th rain now anyways?
its lyk so sunny now luhs.
jus hope th weather will remain th same for tmr as well.

came back from KL on Monday.
but my com was down as it was inactive for 3 days.
so i couldnt use until tues.
but didnt feel lyk blogging until now. hahas
my trip was mostly unpleasant..
first day we ate dinner at a cafe/ mini restaurant but i didnt lyk th food dere.
& when we went to one of th shopping centres,
i wanted to d some hair straightening/natural rebonding.
but my mum didnt let me due to some lame reason.
so in th end my mood was damn bad th whole night.
i didnt wanna go shopping aft tat le.
second day we went up to Genting to play.
while queuing up for nearly an hour to play th Go-kart, a sudden rain came thx to th heavy mist.
so th whole stn was closed.
so we went to find our parents.
gt lost frm them for abt 2 hrs.
& we had no cell phone wif us.
so had to borrow frm other ppl.
thx God one kind lady frm th ticketing counter lend us her fone..
so we managed to meet up wif our parents n took th last bus from Genting back to KL.
on th last day we were gg hm le.
th bus was supposed to come at 1.30 but there was a long delay.
made us wait for mre dan an hr for th bus.
pek chek sia! summore other ppl frm diff. bus co. switch to our bus..
so sum others couldnt get up th bus cos nt enuf seats n hafta wait for another bus to cum. RAWRRS.
anyway dunn tink i'll be gg wif my family le. maybe in another few yrs i'll go back dere wif frens.
took some pics but it'll be up here in th later posts.

yst went jason's hse for prayer meeting.
it strted late.
but yst was awesome. Desmond ministered to us..
n wat he said abt me was true luhs.
i was quite troubled wif some aspects of my life, esp Spiritual, Friendships, Relationship wif others etc.
but now i noe th key to success.
& i noe tat everything i've gone thru is God's way of letting me grow- perhaps into a stronger person bahs. haas (:
thx God for his Faithfulness and love to me! =)

jus finished watching one litre of tears yst..
wahahahas.
okays im gonna watch summore videos le. byes !

it doesnt matter if i'm going thru difficult periods of transitions because I knoew you're by my side to carry me, walk with me and see me through. I LOVE YOU (:

Happy Hols !

2008-03-08T06:49:00.001+08:00

th hols are here! [esp. for jc students] (:
my nxt update will be on tues/wed.
cos i'll be out of town till then.
enjoy ur hols everyone ;DD

updates

2008-03-06T10:41:00.000+08:00

okiies. my wk has been gd so far.
went mac to study wif bestfriend on mon n tues.
& since sun..i've been eating at mac non-stop.
esp th fries =x
ohh man. just looking at th oil frm th fries cn drive me crazy luhs.
yes yes, ive received th enrolment package frm SP.
nw waiting for NP's. when will it come? josh has gotten his le.
im worried mine wont come =x
xiaoxuan saes maybe in a few mre days' time. jus hope so >.<

yst went jiawen's hse wif jiahui n guoen.
but we couldnt go into th gym cos we dunn haf th keycard.
so we ended up swimming n sauna-ing.
it was drizzling a bit when we gt into th pool.
didnt swim much but still, it was fun when me n jiahui water-attacked guoen.
hahas.
den we rushed off to th sauna.
n here comes th funny part...
guoen wanted to come into th sauna wif us, but becos it was th gal toilet, we dressed him up in my class jersey n went inside.
couldnt help laughing at him sia..[he looks lyk a girl] =DD
n th toilet cleaner was seating outside th sauna room only.
so we tried very hard nt to expose guoen.
den he strted toking a bit in th sauna. but he used man voice n nt girl girl voice.
so we ended up laughing.
den when he left for th Gents, we realised th sauna heater wasnt switched on. lols.
so we turned it on n went inside. every 3 mins or so, we came out.
cos it was lyk burning us inside n quite stuffy, cnt breathe.
den aft a while we showered le..n went to steam our clothes.
den met up wif guoen outside le den went to 7-11 to buy food.
went to th roof to eat cos it was still raining.
aft eating jiu go hm le.
ate dinner den went Jason's hse to pray.
aft tat went Mac [*groans*]. bought hot fudge.
aft fellowship, went hm.

gonna cont watching my videos.
byeee (:
i'll rmb wat "bf" said...

because the sky high, the pig can fly

sunshine after the rain (:

2008-03-02T02:12:00.000+08:00

been a few days since i last updated my blog.
hees. these few days haf been watching videos aft videos.
watched gong zhu xiao mei and devil beside you.
devil beside you is damn nice. i watch le cnt stop crying sia. lols.
nw strted to watch Iswak. cos i no cable tv, so cnt watch. need to watch online de.
so yupps. but its ok luhs. as long as get to watch jiu hao le. (:

i told him tat he dunn need to help me le.
cos i feel he wont be able to do it.
when i ask him to help, he ask me how.
ive said how before le.
it seems lyk he dunn get it. or he acting dumb.
thx anyways...

this mth's a new mth.
once agn, its a brand new beginning for everyone.
im glad tat things between me n him haf been settled le.
at least i noe i wont expect so much in th future.
in order to keep my disappointments lesser.
ppl told me he's nt worth my tears. hahas.
but crying for a gd reason shld be worth it bahs.
buyaowangjiwomendechengnuo.

yst was 29 Feb. it's a leap yr this yr.
so yst actually planned to watch The Leap Years wif gdfrens.
but tix were selling fast. so in th end we ate Pasta Mania for dinner, den went arcade to play.
wa super fun sia. i very long nvr go play arcade le!
played bball wif jiahui. so ci ji sia. lols. nxt time cfm will go play agn de ! :DD
den we camwhored at LJS n th corridor. [was surprised to see shuni at ljs]
den something unexpected happened aft tat, which brought our moods down a bit.
but overall i didnt regret gg out wif them cos i had a great time!
ILOVEYOUGUYS(: *muacks*

Chapter five.
Apparently he saw the two of them snuggling together on the sofa,
whispering sweet nothings to each other.
It irritated him to see them so happily and blissfully together.
Afterall, he was her past, a memory which needed to be buried.
But there was nothing he can do.
It was his fault for making her wait endlessly in the cafe.
It was too late for regrets. He had to give her his blessings.
As he made his way out of her house, a single tear trickled down his cheeks.

sunny day .

2008-02-28T01:28:00.000+08:00

hmms.
tdy didnt go gym. lols.
went to cut hair at far east.
did hair treatment too.
freaking long cn. took nearly 2 hrs.
n th hairdresser tat helped me to cut was a bit blur.
or shld i sae was me? hahas. T.T
anyways, was really glad tat gt jiahui pei me..
if nt i wouldnt wanna go tdy le. hees >.< & i was damn pissed off wif th ATM machine. jus becos of tat i couldnt eat lunch at far east. so me n jiahui went to th nearby hotel aft she finished eating. den we ask th doorman if gt ATM machine anywhr nearby. he said fareast n we were lyk [-_-'''] hahas. yea so we had no choice but to walk to nearby orchard mrt. when we saw ATM machines we were lyk happy n excited. finally cn withdraw money le. wahahahas. went taka to buy food. den went to meet up wif guo en. den we went bugis to walk walk. nearly wanted to buy th vest but scared gt nth to match wif it =x so didnt buy. jiahui bought a tube. hahas. wait till i jian summore fei den go buy. muahahas. aft tat i decided to go buy my walet frm wallet shop. happy sia. finally cn get a new wallet. & a PROPER one! whees (: if you tink u noe hu i was referring to in th previous posts, den u're wrong..cos i wasnt referring to a single person. but at least 2-3 ppl. so..dont misunderstand, misinterpret or assume inaccurately. it's best to clarify wif me personally ;D & rmb, nvr ever put words into my mouth, or twist stories of ur life when actually u're only wallowing in self-pity, which is undeserving of you. yes, ppl may believe you. but He sees ur heart. search ur conscience thoroughly yea?

th best solution is to follow whr God leads, even if it may seem tough. but th narrow way is owaes better dan th broad way. (:

i miss mingyang n jp n th rest.
wanna meet up wif u guys soon!
<3

buddy's sick. get well soon (:

thank you .

2008-02-25T22:14:00.000+08:00

thanks, for willing to help me (:
i hope tat this time round, i'll truly be able to forget le..
& perhaps like wat others haf said, i shld gif sumone else th chance.
hmms. you tink it'll work out?
honestly, ive lost th trust in guys le.
but if i'm able to overcome th lack of trust in them, i'll be a more happier and successful person in th future.
i can admit when it comes to this kinda things i lack th experience.
but... we shall see how things goes (:

was supposed to go gym-ing wif jiahui tdy.
but no news frm her =x she didnt cfm wif me anything...
so i stayed at home th whole day.
& managed to watch abt. 4-6 episodes of gong zhu xiao mei.
tmr will cont watching summore.
if life was a fairytale, everything will be so perfect.

unfortunately, life is nothing but a bed of roses

moving on in life

2008-02-24T23:27:00.000+08:00

at times, we often struggle.
struggle to be happy, to keep smiling.
but we find it so hard for us to do so.
when then will we be able to break free from this cycle ?

went for cg tdy.
aft tat went to JP wif buddy to buy his sch shoes.
walao. go wif him to buy cn die alr.
we walked frm 2nd floor to 3rd floor and then back to 2nd floor agn.
& he bought th Adidas shoe i suggested.
freaking ex can. cost arnd $127+ [aft 15% discount] :x
hw i wish his mummy is my mummy. den i cn buy expensive shoes oso.
& tat irritating fellow kept trying to "dian" me wif his arm.
& i kept trying to avoid him. wait ppl dunno tot he doing wat sia. lols
blahblahblahs. saw john at pop. surprising sia.
blahblahs. ate dinner @ Banquet, den went coffeebean to buy bananachoco.
buddy told me to find someone else in order to replace th feelings.
wonder if he was trying to hint anything a nt. lol.
maybe...
den train-ed back hm.
went to th playground for a while
den went hm le.

can you help me?

it's th fourth mth.

let the pictures do th talk.

2008-02-24T12:16:00.000+08:00

distant .

2008-02-23T14:55:00.000+08:00

yst went cwp wif jw to watch deathnote3.
i took 178 frm ten mile junction,
& to my utmost dismay, th bus went a whole big round of abt 15-20 mins before reaching cwp.
im soo nt gonna take tat bus to cwp ever agn man !
while waiting before th show strted, we went to walk arnd.
went mini bits. i'm attracted to th necklaces wif stars luhs. so nice. but no $ =S
den aft tat we went The Blue. tried on sunglasses.
n ended up laughing at hw silly we looked.
in th end she bought a pair of black sunglasses, & i bought a brown one.ohh den we were late for th strting of th show.
all i cn say abt th show is tat ts a bit gross, esp during th scenes of th infectious disease.
& i cried luhs. cos sad ma.
i tink i was th only one in th cinema hu cried. felt a bit paiseh luhs =x
cnt help it. im emotional. lol.
rating of th movie: 4/5

went to meet th rest to go rgr's hse aft tat.
hohoho. this guy's getting older each time i sees him.
[lyk as if he's nt an ahpek alr] *giggles
Happy B'dae ahpek roger! (:
oreo cheesecake was nice ! nxt time must eat agn sia. shiok !
n yst..jiahui n ivy kept trying to poke me. so bad rite.
jiahui must be happy i keep making fun of her and you-noe-hu. LOL
cn even imagine her reaction "no. we're just friends. hahas. bleahs >.<" standard ans de luhs. becos everytime i ask her den she keep saeing th same thing. lol. nxt time wan fool ppl must sae other things le ma. must haf new pattern okays. haha XD k luhs. i dunn di-siao u le. if nt wait u cum poke me agn. RAWRRRRRSSSSSSS . went for overnight prayer meeting. it was gd luhs. cos i nvr pray overnight before. let's hope that there will be a breakthrough in growth and our spiritual lives (:

when i knew you in th beginning, you seems so serious .but now, i beg to differ. there's a change i see.i no longer sense any connectivity le. what has happened to you ? you cant expect me to keep pushing you, or taking the initiative when im a girl while you, a guy.
or maybe you've guessed already, that i want out. i cant pretend to love you like i once did. i wont sae sorry.
becos you brought this upon yourself. i dont want to pretend that things are all right when it's obviously not. i dont want to keep being emo becos of you.maybe to you losing me isnt a big deal. yes i noe you have lots of other gals, vying for your affection n attention.so maybe even if im gone, it doesnt matter.

2008-02-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

my mood tdy isnt gd.
i was supposed to go for a job interview.
but its postponed to tmr instead.
oh wells, nvm .
procrastination cnt get you anywhere further, can it ?

goona look for a new blogskin again.
i hate th look of my blogskin now anyways.

well i'm pretty broke.
spend a lot of money on tues on clothes, belt, flipflops and a bag.
hmms. wait till i get a job.
i'll fulfill my building fund,deposit some cash into th bank;
& use th remaining money to update my wardrobe.
& i still hafto save up a lot of money to buy my laptop!
photo updates will be delayed once agn. =]

Chapter Four.
Why isnt she picking up her phone? He thought to himself.
After several rounds of calling and still no reply,
he decided to drop by at her house.
Hush voices and merry laughter were heard inside of the apartment.
He invited himself into the house and the sight that greeted him was unpleasant.

you brightened up my day (:

2008-02-21T00:45:00.000+08:00

went out wif jiahui t watch movie.
Juno. wahahahas. i gt a bit teary at one part when th husband n wife were gonna divorce.
aft tat went heeren n fareast to walk walk.
had fun camwhoring wif jiahui.
nvr really take pics wif her before sia. lols

there will be a delay in th update of pics. sry >.<

yst was a great day for me.
thanks for everything.
you've truly touched me.
i love th poem!
& of cos..
our friendship will be lyk th ring..
never ending.
i promise you =)

SMILES peeps !

ehhhhh beee seeee deee yiiiiiiii effff giiiiiiii agggggeeee aiiiiiiiii jayyyyyyyyyyyy
kaeeee elllllll emmmmmmmm andddddddd ohhhhhhhh peeeeeeeeeee
queueueeeeeeee areeeeeeeeeeee asssssssssss teeeeeeaaaaa youuuuuuuu veeeeee
double-yyyyyyyooooooouuuuuuu axxxxxxxeeeeeee whyyyyyyyyyyyy zeeeeeeeee .

posting results are out.

2008-02-19T11:00:00.000+08:00

okays. i was sad at first.
becos i received an sms saying i was posted to SP's human resource management.
didnt really wanna go there.
firstly becos there are certain ppl i dont wanna see there, esp th guy frm th lib.
secondly, im nt interested in preformance and compensation. it sounds boring.
thirdly, I wanted Ngee Ann's Psychology.

&then...
here comes th miracle !
i went into th JPSAE website & realised tat ive got into Psychology @ NP.
woots! i was damn happy aft hearing that. only for a short moment.
for those hu gt into th sch of ur choice, den gd for you !
for those hu are gonna appeal, best of luck!
May u get into th choice u wan (:

now..ive gotta strt saving money in order to buy a notebook.
shld i buy macbook pro or other brands ?

PAE has ended

2008-02-18T21:29:00.000+08:00

today was th last day of PAE.
but i didnt go attend lessons in sch.
i'll miss Robinsons & my classmates of cos.
but we shld plan mre outings in th near future yea ?

went out in th afternoon my classmates to town.
we went walking arnd most of th time.
a lil boring.
& yes yes. we took a class photo.
shall post it up soon.
pictures will be updated on th nxt blogpost so stay tuned (:
bought a Nike bottle today. it was Hotpink. wished they had purple instead.
*sighs . nvm..as long as can use it'll be gd enuf le.
saw Nike shoes too. tempted to buy one.
but didnt of course. cos budget tight :x
den zixuan left earlier wif yanchong (darling).
i'll miss my darling. in fact, was abt to cry when i hugged him.
den we walked to cine. aft tat th girls left first.

i make friends, not acquaintances.
people who come into my life are not by chance, but by destiny.
& i just want you guys to know that...
you'll never be forgotten.
i love every single one of you.
thanks for being my friend, and some of you, my good friends :DD

dilemma

2008-02-18T01:15:00.000+08:00

really dno wat to do sia.
im afraid of wat my heart is feeling.
i fear of what may happen.

its gonna be th last day of sch in MI in a few hr's time
gonna report during break. wanna slp longer at hm (:
at least i make th effort to drag my bum off my hse.

gosh. look at th time nw. its alr 3am.
gotta go. ciaos~

finding Him back

2008-02-17T00:57:00.000+08:00

marvin wanted an update.
my mood's nt tat gd. but i will still update a lil.
went Mrs Choo's hse. watch movie on vampires.
aft tat went to J8 for lunch wif my classmates.
most of them bought long john den th rest of us ate subway.
aft tat went to expo.
sermon was on Built to Last. wont elaborate on tat.
aft svc, went to jiawen's hse dere to find her.
on th way in th train, a guy approached me and sat nxt to me.
den he strted asking if those were chi oranges *points to th bag*
aft tat we chatted a bit..
wat a gd boredom reliever. hahas.
didnt expect tat i would be able to hit off well wif this stranger since he's nt a local.
when i reached jiawen's hse, haohan was dere too. so th three of us chatted.
until nearly 11. den we left.
felt tired. so slept on th bus..nearly missed my stop sia.
managed to make it back hm anyways.

i felt as if i've been drifting away from God.
though i sometimes do pray, and read the bible.
yet, his presence aint as strong as when i was on fire.
so, ive made a decision, which is to put my focus back on God.
& no relationships will be able to replace my covenant wif God (:
so right now, i'm on my way to finding Him back.

i'll miss you. you. and you.
you will stay in my memory.
always. never to be forgotten.
i'm happy for you now that there's someone you love truly.
its a great comfort to see you slowly changing day by day.
i wish you everlasting happiness (:
chulianqingren.

Happy valentine's day!

2008-02-14T16:54:00.000+08:00

roses.
gifts of friendship.
LOVE. for everyone out there (:

Chapter three
a strong and sturdy arm wrapped around her with a warm hug.
"its ok..its ok. You will be fine,"a gentle voice comforted her.
although she could not see who the person was, she knew he had a kind heart.
She felt peace coming into her heart. Her crying ceased.
He brought her to a lighted spot and in his hands he held a rose.
A smile crept up her face as she took it from his hands;
for the rose was a black rose.

lazy ?

2008-02-12T21:01:00.000+08:00

was lazy to blog.
but damn boring =S
tdy finally drag my butt out.
went to sch.
surprisingly, th ppl i expected to see didnt come.
hais. a bit disappointing bahs.
xuan's sick, fiona took off day, josh was tired, carmen dno wat happen, yc "darling" oso missing.
anyways. first lesson of th day was Econs.
boring boring. YAWNS* Mingying slept in class n was woken up by Ms.Ho
aft tat we had a 2 hrs break :D
cos some of us Pon-ed MT lesson n went to th stadium to slack.
hahahas. aft tat went for GP lesson.
th rest came frm MT class wif serious faces.
den they tell us our hometutor go past th MT class n saw so lil ppl inside
so she told them to inform us tat we hafta go for detention.
& in th end..they were only joking wif us. so much for scaring us luhs -.-
watched To kill a mockingbird. nice show (:

2 days left to Valentine's Day

Happy ?

2008-02-11T20:07:00.000+08:00

tink so.
slightly bahs.
cos..tdy went to make atm card le. wahahahas.
n this card must be at least 17 [must past ur bdae] before u cn make.
y? cos it's linked tgt wif Mastercard. n requires ur signature.
so tdy when they ask me sign, i damn nervous la. scared will sign wrongly =x
aft tat went hm to take lib bks.
den went lib to borrow n return bks.
shun bian top up my cashcard.
at first cnt, den i tot my atm card gt prob.
aft tat th lib staff help me check, den realise tat e-kiosk gt no transaction,
so in th end i used th other one. den cn le. wahahahas.
went ntuc n buy th latest Teens magazine.
gt Fei Lun Hai poster! & my laogong L frm Deathnote. ZOMG.
this mth's issue is abt friendship, love etc.
but my post will be endless if i strt blogging abt th Love part.
so yeapps..u cn borrow it frm me or simply go buy a copy of Mar (:

okays. will end here for now.
nth much to tok abt le.
i'll go songs-hunting.
taataas!

both of us were unable to give up. & every argument does not pull us apart.it brings us closer instead.& it makes me realise hw much you mean to me. a part of me questions myself if i love you. i want you to noe, deep inside me. i guess i do.

unpredictable mood swings.

2008-02-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

wahahahas.
saw sha wang tdy :DD
miss him lyk siao cos i hate him. hahas.
seeing him was enuf to drive th clouds away.

tdy.
went for svc in th morning.
Pst Kong preached abt. relationships in marriages.
interesting msg. tho it was more suitable for th married couples.
which reminds us tat Valentine's Day is just round th corner.
surprises pls! i'm dying for surprises luhs.

aft svc went to Davis. ber n da ben xiang bought their guitars.
den aft tat..me n da ben xiang cabbed down to Gombak.
aft we alighted frm th cab, dbx realise he left his wallet in th taxi.
he felt sad luhs. but he tried to praise God despite losing his wallet.
so..aft tat we went up to Jason's hse.
had steamboat.
den aft tat went off to shuni's hse.
th rest were playing cards [gambling] when i reached dere.
didnt wanna gamble. so jus watch them play.
den arnd 6 plus we left her hse to go Westmall.
it turned out th $6 off movie ticket was supposed to be an exchange for movie voucher .
den aft tat den cn further exchange for movie pass.
so ma fun la. zzzz.
in th end we decided nt to watch movie.
went mos burger to eat dinner tho i wasnt very hungry.
aft tat walk arnd for a while.
den went hm le.

im glad i didnt try to avoid gg to shuni's hse.
sooner or later i surely haf to face reality once agn.
so y nt jus go all out. yea! no point escaping rite.
yea. i must be brave n strong!

Chapter two.
The walk home was endless.
Wind seared through her face, causing her to cry even more.
She could no longer contain her tears.
She ran all the way to her favourite hiding place,
where she poured her whole heart out.
In the darkness- where her cries were unheard.

make me fall in love with you.
help me turn my hate into love.
why isit? i feel so empty these days?
my Spiritual life hasnt been on fire.
& i feel so sian nowadays.
dont even have any heart to study or attend sch.
y y tell me y?
i cnt get it.
y am i pushing ppl away wif my words?
sry if ive hurt anyone wif th words ive said.
i'm slowly strting to lose track of hu i am.
sry. if ive been a disappointment.
i hate u so much it hurts. i hate u cos i do miss u.
i hate u cos u make me feel unwanted.i hate u cos i want to be loved.
i hate u for always making me cry. i hate u because i care.
i hate u cos it's th opp.
Thanks for making me cry agn. well done (:
maybe its time...
sry if ive been a disappointment.

i'm happy for you , but i'm crying for myself .

2008-02-09T12:19:00.000+08:00

might be changing to xanga or livejournal le.
so stay tuned for th changes (:
wont be up so soon tho.
i'll take my own sweet time. hahas.

went T3 yst.
ate at popeyes.
den aft tat walk arnd for a bit.
went to th viewing gallery.
wait till i strt saving $, i'll make sure i haf enuf to seat SIA agn.
aft tat, went vivo.
& i saw th damn phone tat i wanted. omg. i feel it calling to me luhs.
so tempting sia. cos it's PURPLE!
bought 2 fitness workout DVD. muahahahas. fats be gone! :D
went I.P. Zone. bought two shirts.
den aft tat went hm to catch th last episode of shou zu.
we missed out th first 30 mins.
but still managed to catch th ending luhs. so nt tat bad.
well..this pretty much sums up my day.

decided nt to upload th pics.
posted some in my friendster profile.
cos sometines upload pics here a bit too mafan le.

cant you see, i'm in a masquerade.
things happening is all a facade.

don haf mood to go out tdy.
sry.

Chapter One.
Kath waited in a corner of Broth Cafe.
He was late. late. late.
She was starting to get irritated and annoyed.
He promised he would turn up. So where was he?
She glanced at her watch. She'd been waiting for him for the past one hour.
Her patience was wearing thin.
"Excuse me, Mam. We are closing for the day" the manager informed her.
She had no choice but to leave the cafe.
Acid tears trickled down her cheeks and she fought hard to brush the tears away.
She gazed into the night sky. The stars seemed to be smiling at her.
But she was not happy. Not one bit.

about my day

2008-02-07T23:14:00.000+08:00

some interesting info on tweets- ppl hu act cute.
there's a pose tat they act cute wif.

1 is u poke ur cheek wit a finger
2 is standard everyone know
3 is cat whiskers
4 is double of number 2
5 is like 1 with the thumb pokin the cheek
6 is phone!
7 is below the chin
8 i duno hw to explain. [ -_-]
9 is arm folded wit one thumb below
10 is 1 at the cheek and 0 at the eyes

didnt noe such things exists. n goodness. they actually can pose up to 20 poses wif dance and song summore. omg ! hahahas.

okay luhs.
tdy went to bai nian.
& i tink th best part of th day was seeing my distant cousin.
y? becos i veri long nvr see him!
& i was sort of thinking abt him when i was on my way to my ahma's hse.
omg. i couldnt recognise him cn!
become so damn cuuuuttttteeee !!!!! omgomg! *smitten
hahaha. dont say i fa hua chi okays ?
cos he really changed le lors.
i saw him lyk 3 or 4 yrs ago.
nw his dressing quite style, hair oso style. wakakas.
wonder if he's attached not. whoever gets him will be so lucky luhs !
hope we'll meet agn soon. hahas =)

when i went to first uncle's hse,
found out frm li gek tat she's teaching in HYSS.
it was so much of a coincidence tat she's teaching willie's class geog.
n she made him memorise th wrong notes before..
HAHAHA.
wat a small world. hahaha. & when i told him abt it.
he was lyk " wat the hack! "
hahaha. funnaye reaction.
he's so gonna haf so much mre fun in geog class nxt time. HOHOHO.

chatted wif jiahui online.
toking abt fats ! arghhh .
so frustrating luhs.
fats really make me haf low self-esteem cn.
zzzz . so gonna cut down aft CNY.
for now..it's bakwas n cookies !
will upload some camwhoring photographs in th nxt post.
bye guys.

do i have a place in your heart, love ?

2008-02-06T17:35:00.000+08:00

ohh.
forgot to elaborate on yst's window shopping.
at JE stn i saw Jerome. he could recognise me tho i was wearing specs.
heh. glad he still rmb me.
.
went penin first. to buy willie's shoes.
my gosh la. he spend abt. an hr in tat shop.
jus looking arnd n trying on th shoes .
too bad his feet is so damn big.
some shoes tat he wanted dunn haf his size alr.
HAHAHAs. sry, i didnt mean to laugh but i jus did . -.-
saw a pair of Levis shoes. damn attractive.
& it comes in black or white.
price ? $49 bucks.
but it caught my attention so i tried it on.
& it fitted me perfectly!
drats . if only they sold it cheaper i would haf been able to buy alr.
but its really cheap le larhs. considered its on offer ? & no other sizes available.
man i feel lyk buying it. hope nobody buys it yet :x
hohoho.
went to Davis to look at guitars.
th cheapo ones haf lousy quality strings.
n its nt even in tune =.0
aft tat went to buy drinks before heading down to bugis.
there's this bubbletea shop tat took ovr Sweettalk.
service sucks a lot. peeps, i advise u nt to go dere.
u'll get pek chek easily. & i nearly wanted to scream at th person hu served me.
damnit. im nvr ging back dere to buy anything le. grrr.
guess wat i ordered ? bingo! banana milkshake.
but it was tasteless luhs. dunn really haf banana taste.
waste my $ sia. @#%^*!
walked down to bugis.
i saw spongbob tees ! so gonna buy one soon man.
so cutttteeee luhs. my husband :D
went Lavender to collect my skinnies.
yea, th one i nearly gt scammed of my $ .
i dunn lyk this blogshop owner.
we alr arranged to meet at 7pm.
five mins before tat she msg me n ask if i reach. i told her yes.
i tot she reach le so went to th control stn dere to wait for her.
ten or fifteen mins ltr den she reach.
wthck ! make me wait for her somemore sia. cnt she be punctual ?
okok. at least i gt my skinnies le..
accompanied th two to go eat dinner.
i watched them eat.
den before gg hm i stopped by Shilin street to buy Tempura.
th standard's really dropping alr.
crispy chicken still better .
tot of trying th crepes nxt time.
anyone tried before ? hw's th taste of it ?
do tag at my tagboard if u've gt any experience frm eating crepes (:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

read somone's blog last time. cnt rmb whose. she tok abt love. so i'll just post it up.

Beginning of the relationship ,
They love you so much that they're afraid to let you go..They want you .
They only want you to be theirs , alone .
&They're afraid you'll belong to others one day .

Many months later down th road ..
They get sick of you and take you for granted , day by day .
They start to regret . Their promises , either forgotten , or they dont even bother them .
Just that they dont show it all out .
They will start describing their relationship as "Sian" to their friends .

When guys want something that they dont have in the first place .
They try their might to get it .
&When they have it , they dont let others have the possession of it .
When they own it for long , they will start throwing them aside..Lol .
this is how some of the guys treat their gfs out there - toys .

&when we girls really put our hearts into something , we really give our 100% .
But sadly , it dont applies to the males themselves .
Why do guys always get sick of relationships after months ?
&How about those which last over 1 year plus.. 2 years plus and so on ?

No matter how much the gfs are willing to give up their unconditional love ,
No matter how hard they crack their brains ,
thinking how to be able to give their love alive , I dont think anything will help .
Unless the guys touch their own conscience , open up their eyes and see , there's a girl right in front of them who can sacrifice without any complains .
&that girl is their girlfriend .

When some girls find those guys they really love ,They become weak .
Real weak .But some girls dont . They can be as heartless as guys too .
Is it worth it to end a relationship when you say you're getting sick of the relationship ?
No wonder people always say : Love starts with a smile , ends with a tear
.

Commitment .
To some people , it sounds so easy to start and end a relationship anytime .
I guess everyone do know honeymoon period is the sweetest of all .
But that wont lasts .

Yeah , we're still young .
Our raging hormones tells us that commitment at this age isnt essential at all .
&We shouldnt spend our youth on only one person .
But then again , we cant deny the fact that girls are silly in love .
If you dont mean to last a relationship , dont last it over months .
But I guess there's definitely bound to have hurt in any relationships yeah ?

When we girls try to understand how they feel , do they do the same to us too ?
When we girls try to change ourselves to the better for them , do they do the same to us too ?Some will , some dont ..

If one creates a lil hole in that heart and the other dont bother to mend it ,I guess that leads to nothing but the end .
Everyone do make mistakes .
No matter how much mistakes they make , guys always expect their gfs to forgive them .
But when we make mistakes ourselves , do they make a fuss over it , or just forgive us like we did ?
Some forgive , some dont..

As time goes by ,
everyone of us meet different people down the road .
Dont cast ugly shadows which they will remember you for life ,
what made them hate you since then .
Cast beautiful shadows .
&if one day one of you has to leave , leave with no regrets..
Love is beautiful , yet it have some ugly sides of it .
Make it beautiful , dont scar it in your loved one's heart..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what she said is quite true and accurate yea ?
girls want to feel appreciated, loved and cared for by guys .
when girls feel insecure, they want assurance .
they dont want empty talks .
what's good of words with no actions ?
often, girls are more serious into relationships than guys are .
&they wonder if they have a place in th guy's heart .
when will guys learn to stop being immatured ?
tsk. i'm only referring to a minority of guys.
please guys , love is not a game .
love is a commitment , a bond and trust between two people .
it's a promise (:
i cant stand guys hu breaks girl's hearts .
if you want to be a player , den jolly well f*ck off man .

sometimes love is heartfelt .
but sometimes when you dont feel it anymore,
you wonder if th feelings are still lingering or fading away .
you become so distant, cold and numb .
but yet in th end, every cloud has a silver lining .
all's not lost .

when i went out wif clown th other day .
i strted thinking more abt. l-o-v-e
wat is it tat keeps a relationship going ?
in th past, it disgusted me to see fatties gg out wif healthier ppl [as in size].
& everytime i see them in th streets. i've gotta suppress my laughter.
& pretend im nt noticing them when i'm actually staring at them.
wat makes th skinnier ppl want to go out wif th bigger size ppl ?
was it becos of money, their looks, th benefits of dating them or wat ?
felt guilty when i saw clown's frens..
two of them were attached.
th girl was big sized, th guy was obviously slimmer luhs .
but i felt ashamed of myself discriminating superplush sized ppl dating nonplush ppl.
cos it made me realise tat when two ppl love each other a lot, nth else matters .
likewise i began to recall once when i told xdd i was fat. [i still am nw] but he told me tat size doesnt matter to him.
yea. when you're in love with someone, the main purpose should be to LOVE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE.
trying to change them needs time.
& before i end off here, if you love someone, will you be willing to wait for them as long as it takes ? & what if the feelings slowly fade away during the time that you wait for them. will you find someone else alr, or will you try to renew th love ?

i've blown my opportunities away.
so many times many ppl haf came into my life.
n cos i was scared of being rejected, i nvr tell them hw i felt.
until when i stopped liking some of them, den i confessed tat i used to lyk.
so many times i regretted. becos i didnt noe i might haf stood a chance wif them.
this is one of my weaknesses bahs.
& i slowly strt counting nw. maybe i would haf 4?
aiya. hu care anyways.
relationships dont appeal to my fancies animre.
lyk wat ive said. too many past disappointments cn cause a person to be numbed.
n i feel so weak nw. as if im getting emo soon.
sry guys if i havent been cheerful enuf this few days.
dont wish to spoil ur moods.
anyways, do take care !

on a lighter note, there's gd news. i hope.

NRIC/FIN/Passport:
S9104633D
Name:
JULIA TAY LI JUN

Congratulations! You have been exempted from the interview assessment for your choice of courses at Ngee Ann Poly.

For JPSAE applicants
You will be posted to a course under JPSAE depending on your order of choice. Please log on to the JPSAE website on the day of the release of JAE posting results to find out the course you are posted to.

bye peeps.
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

say goodbye to emo days

2008-02-06T01:54:00.000+08:00

this few days my mood has been up and down.
obviously spoilt by certain happenings.
shant elaborate tho, lest my mood turns bad agn.

accompanied dumdum and birdbird to bugis tdy.
felt i need to get out of th house for some fresh air.
really need some luhs.
n oso to prevent myself frm becoming emo ?
haa . it's ok. im stronger now. much stronger dan i used to be.
not so vulnerable to getting emo le bahs. lol.

decided to take th initiative to msg xdd. [yea. agn]
at least he did bother to reply. hahas.
i simply hate it when ppl dont reply ur sms when u expect one frm them.
so irritating right ? zzzzzz .

aiya . nth much to sae le.
so i'll jus end here nors.
byeeee !

blur .
king .
(:

Happy Birthday to me! (:

2008-02-04T22:22:00.000+08:00

okok.
let me blog about tdy.
woke up at arnd 10 plus.
shiok luhs. ppl in sch while i still slping. hahas XD
left hse around 11.40 to go for th interview.
reached dere arnd 1.25.
den i strted walking one big round just to find Block 8 to go for th interview.
dots. nearly gt lost man.
i ask th cleaner whr's block eight n she sae she dno.
so i jus took th lift tat i saw. n oso asked a TP staff in case i took th wrong lift. lol.
thank God i didnt end up in th wrong place sia.

wat we did in th interview..
okays so i counted there was 17 or 18 of us hu went for th interview.
we did th D.I.S.C. test online.
&i'm an I and S person, which means i'm both an introvert n extrovert. lol.
weird combi right? but tat test is lyk only 90% accurate luhs. haa .
aft th test, we had to write two essays.
first essay was abt ourselves, our personality, strength and weaknesses.
second essay was what we think about Psychology and why we wanna study tat.
den aftwards, they made us watch a video on aggression.
such a silly video luhs. a woman, and two children punching th bu-dao-weng.
aft watching we had to write our observations and how our observations are relevant to society and how it's related to people etc.
den there was break.
aft break we had to do paper aeroplanes with our name, hobby, fav. thing n one word to describe Psychology.
i wrote: Julia. using the com to surf th net. my pillow becos it has grown up wif me. comtemplative. & extra info lyk "P.S. you wont become psycho once you study Psychology because you will know how to prevent yourself from becoming psycho." LOLs.
aft tat we did a BINGO personality test. lyk an icebreaker warming up game.
aft tat was group work. based on two themes we had to select one.
one theme was to organise a graduation night at a Grand Hotel Ballroom,
th other was to organise a Freshman's Orientation camp for students.
my grp chose th graduation night one. blahblahs.
dere's one grp chose same theme as us. they wanted to invite KUMAR th actor to be th guest of honor.[ jus becos he's a guy-girl ?]
hahas. den activities include street poker, free booze, kissing booth whr u cn kiss kumar[omg!], strip poker, lucky draw whrby th lucky winner gets to spend a night wif kumar [even mre omg ! ] walao we were laughing our hearts out at their presentation man. so damn funny! HAHAS.
th whole thing ended arnd 5.20
frm dere went to cwp. ate at Seoul garden.
super full. den came hm. blow candles, cut cake.
but tmr den eat cake cos full le. hahas.

i jus hope my bdae gets better every yr.
this yr was betta dan last yr. cos last yr i emo-ed. but this yr nvr. hees.
ok luhs. i shant drone on animre le.
byeeee .

those hu wished me, u noe hu you are. thanks loads!

MY BIG DAY! (: SEVENteen

2008-02-04T10:43:00.000+08:00

YAY !
i'm older le.
woots~

this year is gonna be a better year i hope.
last yr didnt really haf much of a celebration,
this yr its slightly diff.
thx to th interview which is gonna take up my whole afternoon peeps.
drats it.
so ive decided nt to go sch tdy. den cn slp longer at hm. while my frens are in sch having fun ?
hahas, no worries though.
but im a lil disappointed tat must haf th interview tdy.
if i dunn go will seem really bad becos i was th one hu applied n gt shortlisted.
its lyk wasting a chance to get into th course i lyk.
unfortunately its too far a distance to travel to and fro everyday for 3 yrs.
unless i get to stay in 2nd Aunt's hse at Ceylon road. [paya lebar MRT] th nearest stn.
haa. i'm tinking a bit further le. cannot cannot.
must get back on track.

aft interview i'll be gg down to lavender to collect my skinnies.
i ordered it last yr way before x'mas.
but nw den cn collect. its nt my fault.
th blogshop owner kena scammed. so she had to find a way to earn back our $.
anyways. i wont trust her or order things frm her blogshop animre (:

aft tat will be gg down to cwp.
den frm dere decide wanna eat whr.
crystal jade or seoul garden, or jack's place, or pasta mania ?

dang wo zhi dao ni bu neng pei wo qing zhu sheng ri de shi hou, wo bing mei na me nan guo.
idk if you feel sad or not. i cant tell whenyou really mean what you sae or jus saeing for th sake of saeing only.
ni rang wo shi wang when you sae its up to me to tink whether u mean it or nt.
you shi hou wo gan dao huang luan becos idk wat exactly are you thinking.
wo xian zai yi jing bei shi wang gei ma mu le.
after having been disappointed many times before.
wo bu neng qi dai na me duo.
its just too risky.
my heart wont be able to take it.
sheng dan jie na qi jian wo yi wei wo yi jing ready le.
cha dianr jiu yao jie shou ni.
but you burst my bubble. n left me disappointed .
right now i rally don feel lyk putting animre effort into us le.
wo xian jai hen sian, n lei of caring mre dan you do.
look hu is th boxim one here. me or you ?
and i feel so guilty. to turn other ppl down.
qi ta nan xing peng you xiang gen wo chu qu.
dan wo bing mei da ying he ta men chu qu.
dou shi yin wei ni.
& i tink they care mre dan you do.
seriously you shld reflect th way u're treating me.
wo bu xiang zai bei ni shang hai le. pls dont torture me.
ye bu xi wang ni hui qi pian wo de gan qing.
wo bu dong wo xian zai hai ai ni/xi huan ni. hai shi na xie gan jue yi jing xiao shi le.
due bu qi. wo shou gou le.
but i dont wish you to get hurt, if i tell you
wo men liang ren zhi jian shi bu ke neng le.
i feel so insecure now.
ye xu nth you do ke yi ni bu yi qian wo dui ni de gan jue n impression.
due bu qi .
<3

thx those hu wished me (:

bye bye sweet 16!

2008-02-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

now's exactly 11.54pm.
gt 6 mre mins left to sey seventeen!
i'll hafta kiss goodbye to sweet sixteen le.
thx everybody for th memories. be it gd or bad, sweet, sour or bitter.
i will put th past behind me and move on.
i will grow up once agn!
yea man. im gonna prove you ninnies wrong.
if u tink i cnt grow up. jus watch me.
it takes time luhs. hahas.

tmr actually wan celebrate wif frens.
but becos gt interview, i cnt do many things.
i cnt meet up wif clown, nor my MI frens, or my other frens.
a bit sad luhs.
BUT. th nxt two days aft tmr i shld be free.
so if wanna go out or sumthing do cfm wif me asap.
in case im fully booked!
wahahahahas.

went to make/collect specs tdy.
cost me 125 bucks. uncle gave me a bit of discount.
th lens is super gd. no mre refreactions le. YAY!
my eye's getting better. but tdy nvr put medicine so nw still red at th side.
haa.

cg celebrated my bdae tdy, tgt wif fion.
had blackforest cake.
n my present was a star necklace !
really love it to bits.. hahas. thx guys (:

alrites. one mre min left before im 17.
byeee peeps. look forward to a new me!

mood changes .

2008-02-02T10:50:00.000+08:00

i'm getting agitated, annoyed n irritated.
seriously in th PMS-ing mood luhs.
dont tread on my toes, i warn you.

hais. sumone msg-ed me tdy n apologised for nt replying my msg agn.
if im insignificant, y dunn you jus nt msg me at all ?
den u wont hafta keep apologising for nt replying my msges/ forgetting to reply rite ?
sry but im strting to get pissed off. with th way you've been treating me.
dunn take me for granted yea ?
becos i want out. seriously, im getting tired.
i care mre dan you do.
when i was sick, i expected you to care.
but u didnt seem to.
nt like i will noe.
ur actions simply prove it all. DUHS.
whatever.
n u've unknowingly caused me to be a lil emo agn.
thanks so much.
i only want to be happy.
so stop ruining my day, with your words.

gg for PM.
nxt update probably tmr or nxt wk.
bye .